(Closed) Will you force your child(ren)to college?

posted 7 years ago in Parenting
  • poll: Will you force them?

    Yes (why)

    No (why)

    My having gone to college sways this

    My having gone to college does not sway this

    Other (comment!)

    My having NOT gone to college sways this

    My having NOT gone to college does not sway this

  • Post # 62
    Member
    2777 posts
    Sugar bee

    @MrsPaperFlowers:  I would never force my children to go to college. However, I do plan to save, save, save in order to pay for their college and I hope that my going to collee and providing a better life for them, will influence their decision to go and better provide for their families. 

    Post # 63
    Member
    5867 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: April 2013

    I think it’s critical for kids to understand that college is one of a variety of good options, and that they should make the choice themselves.  I would want my (theoretical) kids to be hard working and driven and to understand that college is an attainable option.  But I would never put blinders on them and tell them that college can solve everyone’s problems or is the only option for success.

    Personally, I think a lot of people use college as an expensive distraction from real life rather than an effective stepping stone.  Others, of course, benefit greatly in both personal and professional growth.

    Post # 64
    Member
    2278 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    View original reply
    @almostmrsj:  This. So well said! I would like the children to research their options and what’s required, but I wouldn’t push them into going to college just because both Fiance and I went to college, etc etc.

    Post # 65
    Member
    10635 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: January 2011

    View original reply
    @MrsPaperFlowers:  Like I said though, to do those trades you typically need to go to college here.

    Post # 66
    Member
    1359 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: November 2014

     

     

    My father never went to college and made a wonderful living for us through hardwork and starting his own business. My aunts and uncles didnt attend either and also did very well for themselves. however I believe times have changed and the type of opportunities they had are not available to many of us anymore. My answer is based on that.

     

    Yes I will, and by force I do not mean strongly encourage, if they do not want to attend college then they will be independent adults and will be more than welcome to move out. Also, I will do what my parents did to me, they guided me in choosing an adequate degree from the ones i was considering that I would enjoy and would make a decent living at. The way this was done did not seem forceful to me at ALL, they had me investigate abd interview professionals from the career paths I was considering and helped me plan the questions, the answers from these interviews seemed like a very valid guidloans I chose on my own.

     

     My parents are loaning me (still in grad school) the money but I have to pay them back. The condition to this was that I would choose a career where this was feasable. They figured if I was truly passionate about my first choice (literature) I would have managed a way to finance it on my own, they were right, even though I love literature and plan on returning to it at some point, I much much prefer the stability and lifestyle medicine offers and I am so very thankful for their help. Was I bitter about it, yes for about a year when I was 18, Afterwards I truly loved my second choice, especially After I saw many of my friends who pursued their “passions” (many hate their degrees now) and struggle to find a job. Now I am thankful. 

    ETA: if they choose not to attend college I do not mean I will disown them, of course not. However, from my experience, most of my friends who decided to not attend mooch off their parents and have little to no actual goals in life Or have no plans for their future. That for me, would be unacceptable. 

    Post # 67
    Member
    854 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    If I were to have children, I would encourage them but it would be their choice.

    As a non-traditional student in my mid 30s, I don’t believe children 17/18 years old know what they want to do with their rest of their lives. Though I have skills and have worked for many great companies over the years, I had to gain real life experience before devoting that kind of time, energy and money into a degree.  


    Post # 68
    Member
    621 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    My parents forced me for undergrad. paid for everything, for gradschool they gave me the option if I went right away they’d pay for it, if not they wouldn’t I took it.

    Did I like being forced? NO!

    BUT if I wasn’t forced I’d prob. would have made some really stupid decisions. I know I was an adult at that time, but I was not capable for making these judgements at that age. So I’m happy I was forced.

    Will I do it to my kids, maybe, I like my Fiance approach better, and its really a kid per kid basis.

    Post # 70
    Member
    2116 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    I voted No, I will not force them to go to college and my going to college doesn’t sway this. I want them to pursue whatever is their passion and if they don’t need to a degree to pursue their passion, so be it. However if they would like to, I wouldn’t mind them getting a degree just in case. 

    Post # 71
    Member
    13943 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    I will support my children in whatever field they want to pursue, provided they can support themselves in the field with their level of education.  College isn’t the right fit for everyone.  I have a friend who has a business degree who has never used it, and works in a job that absolutely does not require a college degree. 

    Post # 72
    Member
    4369 posts
    Honey bee

    View original reply
    @MrsPaperFlowers:  As the OP, why are you asking people for the reasons for their decisions, and then getting offended when people state their opinions?

    Post # 73
    Member
    10635 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: January 2011

    View original reply
    @MrsPaperFlowers:  Most trades don’t work like that here.  The apprenticeship can be started while in high school, but some college and a diploma is typically required.  Student loans usually aren’t required though because these students are paid during the apprenticeship and qualify for EI during the classwork part.

    Grocery store stalkers and truck drivers don’t require any education, but the skills needed doesn’t give someone much in terms of transferable skills.  I would want my child to have some flexibility in case they were laid off.

    Post # 75
    Member
    4369 posts
    Honey bee

    View original reply
    @MrsPaperFlowers:  Perhaps I missed it, but when did anyone call anyone else idiots?

    Post # 76
    Member
    1248 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: April 2012 - Chateau Briand

    I think a bachelor’s degree is quickly becoming necessary, but that being said I will not force my children to go to college. I will, however, make sure they plan on doing something with their lives, whether it be an apprenticeship program or a tech school, etc. I am a lawyer and though I enjoy it, I often wonder if it was worth it. DH did not go to college and he has done well for himself wihtout it.

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