(Closed) Will you make your kids eat what you do, or will you fix them something else?

posted 8 years ago in Parenting
  • poll: What kind of meal will you prepare for your child?

    My child will eat what I eat

    I will cook my child something different than what I am having

    other?

  • Post # 93
    Member
    756 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2011

    One exception to “eat or starve” existed in my house growing up: My siblings and I were each allowed to refuse our one or two most hated vegetables, which we called “worst vegetables.” Other than that, we ate what we were given, often under protest. I remember my brother having to sit at the table for two hours past dinner until he ate some of a dish he didn’t like.

    I had a relative who would sometimes cook three different dinners for one night, because her kids were all picky about different foods. It boggled my mind. A mom is not a personal chef.

    Post # 94
    Member
    47430 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    My rule is that my children have to try tastes of anything I serve- two spoonufls, two forkfuls etc- whateveris appropriate. They then are not obligated to try that item again at that meal. They do have to fill up on what  else is available at that meal- salad, fruit etc, and they only get a normal snack before the next meal-fruit, vegetables etc.

    If a child has to take two tastes of something, 40-50 times, I assure you they will get used to the taste and grow to enjoy it. The key is there is NO pressure after the two tastes AND they don’t get the snacks of their choice to fill up on between meals.

    They both eat absolutely everything.

    I’m not a short order cook, nor do I have any desire to be.

    Post # 96
    Member
    5398 posts
    Bee Keeper

    I don’t think kids should be forced to clean their plates or eat something they truly dislike, but I think kids should have to try new foods and eat what the adults eat. Obviously it’s a lot of work for a parent to make multiple meals, but mostly I think it’s important to eat a variety of foods to be healthy and get good nutrition. I wish my parents had forced us to eat more vegetables and varied foods as a kid. 

    Post # 97
    Member
    329 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    All I really know is that I want my future children to be better eaters than I was as a child, and as I am as an adult.  This is something that I seriously worry about and I’m glad I have some time to figure out a gameplan.  It really is no fun at all to be the “picky eater.”  It’s something I stress out about daily, and I have tried to change my habits.  Slowly, I’m finding more and more foods that I enjoy eating.

    There were definitely meals that I flat out would not eat as a child.  I have always hated spaghetti and anything with sausage in it makes me gag.  I have tried to like these foods as an adult, and it has been a definite no go.  When I was younger, I would rarely eat red meat…this is something that I’ve actually grown to like over the years.

    My parents never made a different meal for me.  I always had to at least try something, but if I hated it?  I didn’t have to eat more than a few bites.  My parents onced tried the “you can’t leave the table until you eat three meatballs” trick…and as many others have said already, it ended in me gagging and throwing up on the dining room table.  When I was old enough, I was given the choice to make something for myself if I couldn’t eat what my mom made for the family.  When we went out to eat, I would typically eat a side salad for my meal…I was so picky that I didn’t even like chicken nuggets.

    My parents did try…they didn’t spoil me with different options at each meal.  As others have stated, I think at one point they grew tired of the arguing and threw in the towel.  I also struggled with a serious eating disorder growing up, and spent a lot of time in inpatient treatment.  I don’t think the way my parents handled mealtimes contributed to this.  This is obviously not an experience I want my future children to have to go through, so that is definitely something I worry about a LOT.

    That long novel basically to say….we aren’t sure how we’re going to handle this with our future little ones. 

    Post # 98
    Member
    3771 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: December 1999

    We make dinner with a mixture of things we that are new/differet with classics that we know they will like. They have to try so many bites of the food that they don’t like or haven’t tried before. As someone who is a picky eater I try to keep textures and seasoning in mind when we are trying something new ex- keep sauces on the side, not use as much pepper on the kids food.

     

    Post # 99
    Member
    3569 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: April 2013

    I’m mixed on this. But I will say I notice very different eating habits from my two brothers family.

    One side has picky eaters which really means their kids like the typical process junk that qualifies as kid food, fish sticks, mac and cheese, hot dogs, chicken nuggets extrc.

    On the other hand the other kids have less issues with food. I can take my youngest neice and nephew on that side out to eat authenic food in chinatown. They eat onions,fish(real boneless fish not fishsticks), all types of veggies.  They drink normal milk. Part of it is health reasons, for example their mom never fed them mac and cheese from the box, processed foods, she makes everything fresh. It’s more work but more healthy for her kids. She also was a single working mom for a while before my brother adopted her children, so it gives me hope that I can do it with help should we choose to have a kid . They also very rar ely eat fast food. So I think I’m more apt to follow her example and way of doing things if I have kids. Because her Kids don’t miss those things because the either never had it, or have tasted it or ate it on extremely rare occasions.

    Post # 100
    Member
    11267 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: April 2012

    i was raised that you eat the dinner that you are given.  all of it.  i hated  potatoes with a passion.  i would eat all of my veggies and meat and pick at the potatoes.  i couldn’t leave the table until i was done.  i sat there for literally hours by myself until i ate them all.  this went on for years. 

    my hubby is the pickiest adult eater in the world.  he won’t eat anything with vegetables in it.  i mean nothing.  he eats meat, potatoes and corn.  also, no sauces or condiments.  so everything has to be plain.  i find myself cooking 2 meals for dinner b/c of this.  such ashame b/c i am a great cook.

    my son ate what i ate no questions.  he loved all food so i was really lucky.  he still loves food and loves to cook b/c that’s what we did together.

    Post # 101
    Member
    873 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: April 2013

    I am a very picky eater and always have been. My mother catered to me growing up and usually made me my own meal if didn’t like what they rest of the family was having. Now, with my own kids, they are only 1 3/4 so I make their meals seperate from our, but usually because our meal times don’t match up. They have lunch at noon and I don’ eat anything until their nap after lunch. Then for dinner, they eat at 5-5:30 and Fi and I don’t eat until they go to sleep at 7.

    I expose them to lots of different flavors and foods in their diet. One of them is really picky while the other will eat anything edible. Even when they don’t like something, I keep offering it to them or exposing it to them many times. The more you introduce a food/flavor them better they might like it. For example, when I first introduces avocadoes, one of them hated it! I kept giving him opportunities to try it again and now he loves it!

    Long story short, I will be willing to continue to make them seperate meals and have them eat what we eat depending on the situation.

    Post # 102
    Member
    1575 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    My policy was that my daughter had to TRY the food in question – a GOOD bite full. If she still didn’t like it, she didn’t have to eat it. However, I would not fix her something different.

    Post # 103
    Member
    299 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2011

    For those of you who addressed my post, I’m not suggesting a parent should let their kid call all the shots with regard to food, I’m simply saying that it’s not quite as simplistic as others are claiming it to be in this thread.  Sometimes, there will be some mac and cheese.  It’s going to happen.  You can’t fight the battle to the death at every meal every day.  

    Basically, what Mightywombat said. 

    Post # 104
    Member
    9816 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper

    View original reply
    @hammerpants:  Yeah, there are sometimes nights that I’ve been like “Ok, you know what? Here’s some toast. Enjoy.” Because frankly I’m sick of bartering, it’s 9pm, she has school in the morning, and I don’t want her going to bed hungry. I think we’ve had pretty good luck so far with the food thing, but lots of kids do go through stages where they want to live on frozen waffles or chicken nuggets.

    It doesn’t mean you have to buy your kids total crap food all the time, but food ruts happen.

    Post # 105
    Member
    813 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: December 1969

    I will cook one meal and everyone will eat (I’m a few years off from kids though, just going off how I was raised). However, if I know one of my kids/DH, etc. doesn’t like something, I’m not going to make it anyways and force them to eat it. 

    Post # 106
    Member
    663 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    I’m not a mother, but ideally I would like my children not to be picky eaters. Yet I know that we all have ideas of how we will raise *our* children until we actually have them and realize, holy crap this is harder than I thought! 

    I do have to say that my sister has two LO’s and her 10 year old daughter is great with food, she’ll try almost anything is more adventurous in trying different food. While her spoil 5 year old is so picky! He would eat something one day just fine with no problem and the next day he won’t touch that food because he said it’s going to make him throw up, which he never does. I stayed with my sister for three weeks and I saw first hand that he’s pickiness is nurtured by his parents. They were eating spaghetti, if I recall correctly, a dish he usually loves, this time he wouldn’t touch it because he wanted cereal. My sister and her husband seem to think it was kind of cute because they looked at each other and said ok but there’s no milk. They told him if he really wanted cereal they would go to the grocery store and buy milk for him. They thought he would eventually get too hungry and eat his spaghetti but nope he didn’t budge. They waited until 9pm, the kid hadn’t eaten since lunch time! They wen’t to the grocery store, bought him milk. He eneded up having dinner at almost 10 at night, pass him bedtime. He’s dad also is very picky so even if my nephew eats something just fine but see’s his dad not eat something, my nephew all of sudden realizes he doesn’t like it either. Ugh so frustrating! 

    I want to think I will keep all that bad food out of my home when I have children so they won’t know all that prcossed food and therefore eat whole foods but I guess I’ll know for sure when I actually have kids.

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