(Closed) Will you pay for your children’s college education?

posted 9 years ago in Money
Post # 47
1335 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I want to help out as much as I can with my children’s educational endeavors. Like EleanorRigby, I saw a lot of kids who felt entitled to money in law school and undergrad, but I hope I won’t raise children who would ever even think like that. My parents couldn’t help out as much as they would have wanted with college tuition, but I know they did as much as they could, which is wondereful. And that’s all I want to do for my kids.

I want to instill a good work ethic in them but also let them know that we are there to help and support them in their school as much as we can in a way that is beneficial for them–that means helping with tuition, not giving them a weekly “allowance” to buy kegs on the weekend.

Post # 48
1668 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

Absolutely not regardless of our financial status.  Well, I suppose if we were multimillionaires we would contribute maybe half. It is important to us that the kids learn to work, and study and pay their own way.  Of course, we wouldn’t want them to be in a stressful position and will support them to prevent that BUT they will make the investment in their education not US.

We both worked since we could and want our kids to understand the value of the dollar and what it takes to earn it. 

ETA: We are fine with paying for books and other college extras but tuition and room and board is on them.

Post # 49
111 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

We aren’t going to. I made some poor decisions with school, one being attending a private college $$$$$$. I am in real financial stress with my loans/current job situation, and know that I have learned so much from it. Honestly, I will still be paying my loans when they are around that age! ha! That being said, I will push them to do well academically and hopefully find a career that will pay off in the end that they like. I will probably help with little stuff, but I will not be paying for all/most of it or taking out loans.

Post # 50
1509 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

We will pay 100% for our childrens tuition to any school of their choice and also put them through private school leading up to college.  I graduated from Notre Dame with no debt and see how some of my friends who graduated with debt struggled with student loans.  That is a burden I will not place on my own children since we will have the means to support them.  Fiance wasn’t as fortunate.  His parents are not very fiscally responsible and are not the type of people we plan to model our financial lives after.

Post # 51
431 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Ofcourse I will , my parents did that for me and I will try to do that for my kids.

Post # 52
5118 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I paid for school all on loans/grants/scholarship/work, and Mr.ND’s parents paid about half of his and he paid for the other part in loans. I don’t like either model fully, since I want to help out my kids if I’m in the position to, but I won’t let them match my contribution in loans – I want them to have earned that $$.

I also agree with one of the PPs in encouraging/placing a lot of importance on scholarships and merit awards and not letting my children expect any contributions to college/wedding. I know that helping pay my own schooling by working 2 or 3 jobs really made me value my time, money, and education, and I graduated undergrad almost debt free. Law school is killing me, but that’s an adult choice, and I don’t know that we’ll help our kids post-grad other than maybe book fees or small things like that. 

Post # 53
544 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2009

Yes.  We already have a college savings fund started and we don’t even have kids yet.

Post # 54
682 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

I think it is very interesting that the majority of people on here think that people with student loans struggle after college. I have student loans and Darling Husband and I are living quite comfortably. Even if I was still single I would not be struggling. I think people just need to be smart about what type of loan and how much they take out.

My parents couldn’t afford to help me. I was completely on my own paying for everything when I was 18. We will probably help with a portion of expenses but definitely not all. I will strongly encourage my children to go to school close to home so they can live with us and save on rent. I also want them to take a part time job and/or internships to help them in their career. We have not decided on how much we will be willing to pay only because that is so far away.

Post # 55
1003 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

If I were to have children, I’d probably pay half and that is it. I agree with@missmouse29 in that most of the people I personally know who had the education paid for are NOT ready for the real world and act like they are 15 years old. I have had to pay for my own education, and while at times it sucks, I find it very rewarding because it is MY DEGREE.

I had a friend whose father paid for her education, and the day she graduated with her music degree her father took it and said “Thanks for my degree, I am hanging up on my wall now.” And took her degree and hung it in his office because he felt it was his because he paid for it.

Post # 56
45 posts
  • Wedding: November 2010

We’ll probably contribute, but the kid will need to work through school like I did.  Hubby’s parents paid for his and he came out of college not having a clue how to pay his own bills since they’d paid everything and given him an allowance the whole way through school.  Needless to say, he had some pretty irresponsible tendencies that have taken years to pay off (credit cards that daddy used to pay and stopped when he got a job!).  I’m still paying for school and worked to pay part of it while I was in school.  I ended up a hell of a lot more responsible financially than he did (at least when we were younger–he has learned his lessons now!) and I think it helped me that I wasn’t given anything.  He now says that he wishes he had been forced to work through school because it would have prepared him better for real life.

Post # 57
2116 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

We’ve talking about it and we’ve decided that we’ll help pay as long as they try hard. Niether of our parents were able to pay for our college but we will be able to afford to pay for our kids.. he’re our idea:

A or B in a class: we pay equivalent of 100% of the tuition

C: we pay equivalent of half

D/F: Not paying a dime


So we’ll hopefully pay for 90-100% of their tuition,… but we don’t want to pay for our kids to go screw aroundin a college town for 4-5 years.

Post # 58
113 posts
Blushing bee

We will pay for the education.  They will pay for any housing (aside from dorms), food, expenses.

Another interesting question, Will you pay for your child’s wedding?

We probably won’t do that.  Because my parents paid for my eduation, i got a job and am financially able to pay for my own wedding.  Their gift to me. 🙂

Post # 59
952 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I will tell them that I can help out with their student loans when they FINISH school. I am not helping out during so they can get a sense of what the real world is. Plus, if they drop out then it’s a waste of money and something they should have to repay! As far as living situations go, I will probably buy a house or a condo and let them live in that but have to pay some rent. Then when they are done, sell it to make money or break even. Renting is throwing money down the toilet!

Post # 60
1643 posts
Bumble bee

I was blessed that my parents were able to help me out, and I plan on helping my kids as much as I can. My parents didn’t want me to incur debt–and if it’s realistically possible, I want to do the same for mine. I don’t think a kid turning 18 and graduating high school means you can toss them to the wolves. You should help them as much as you can to get on their feet. Debt is in no way a good thing. And the student loan system is JACKED these days in favor of the lender.

Post # 61
3460 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

What I find most interesting about this conversation is those that would pay a % depending on the grades earned.  When I was in high school, my senior year I took several classes at a (very good) state college through an early acceptance program.  I could have stayed at the state college, but I ended up going to a top-10 college.  At the state college, I earned As.  At my alma mater, I earned a mix of As & Bs.  I don’t think that if my parents had that policy, it would have discouraged me from going to more challenging school (which ultimately opened more doors for me), but you never know.  It’s certainly a very big risk you take with any policy like that. 

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