Post # 1
DH and tried for 13 cycles before I went to an RE. We are not even halfway through infertility testing, but the cost and the stress are getting to both of us. Last night DH said that in the old days, people who couldn’t get PG would just accept it and be childless or try to adopt. I say that we have the technology now and if we agree on how far we’re willing to go, we should do what we can to get PG. (Don’t worry, we are agreeing on how far to go, he’s just trying to make a point).
So my question is, what is your cut-off point, or will you decide to remain childless if you can’t conceive naturally?
Post # 3
We would never remain childless – We would take all measures to get pregnant ourselves and if that still didn’t work, we would adopt.
Post # 4
We’re the same as @Sea_Ashley: we’ll do whatever we can to gepregnant, including IVF (although I’m not sure how many cucycles we’d do) then we’d look into Adoption.
Im an only child; FI is the youngest and neither of his brothers have children (or ever willveer plus we both love kids. It’s important for us to be parents.
Post # 5
We are willing to try everything but IVF to get pregnant. If, by a miracle, we can afford IVF (if needed), then we will cross that road. But we know, at the moment, we can’t afford that procedure.
We have decided not to adopt or get a surrogate if I can’t get pregnant at all. This is the conversation that caused the biggest arguments between us. But… he says he won’t love a child that is not a combination of the two of us. I can’t force him to and I won’t dare call his bluff.
Just so you know… the first appointments and the tests are the most scary and expensive parts for a while. Once you start treatments, the costs get a little easier for a while… the costs slowly go back up the more extreme measures you need to take.
Post # 6
I know that we would do whatever it takes to get pregnant naturally. If all else failed we would definately adopt. Not being a mother isn’t something I will ever do!
Post # 7
- Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL
We already discussed it when I had a recent health scare that could have affected my fertility. We decided that we would be fine with it just being the two of us if we can’t conceive naturally.
Post # 8
We would adopt – which we may end up having to do.
My apologies if I worry or offend anyone but I think the risks of IVF (to both the mother and baby) are too great for me to be comfortable with. We’ll either remain childless or adopt.
Post # 9
That’s a tough one, and I think it would depend on WHY we couldn’t get pregnant. If it’s something that has a high chance of working with clomid and/or IUI I think we would definitely try it a few times. If it something more complicated and IVF wouldn’t have predicably high success rates, I don’t know if we would try it (I.E. DH is nearly sterile or I’m not releasing eggs and clomid didn’t work). We don’t have a ton of extra money laying around (especially if we are going to have a kid) so it would definitely be a concern… And I don’t know how I’d feel about adoption, since I want to be pregnant and have my own baby so badly (that sounds terrible…), I’m sure I’d come around to it since I want to be a parent, but it would definitely have to be a bridge we crossed when we got to it.
Post # 10
@poetryreader80: Yup. Our reasoning is if it’s not meant to be, it’s not meant to be.
Post # 11
If I hadn’t been able to conceive myself, I wouldn’t have had kids. Luckily, this wasn’t the case.
We plan on another child, but if for some reason I cannot get pregnant, I will accept that.
Good luck with your TTC journey though *hugs*
Post # 12
As hard as it would be to deal with, we have discussed that if we have problems we would stay just the two of us. We would Travel more and try and occupy ourselves with all kinds of other activities. Hard to imagine though, I’m sure I would just never feel compete.
hoping we never have to go down that track….
Post # 14
We’re on the fence between trying IVF or just accepting that we’re not meant to be parents, if it turns out that we cannot conceive. It’s something that we need to discuss further together.
Post # 15
@Mimoza: +1, exactly this. If it isn’t meant to be, there must be a reason for it. I wouldn’t go through the emotional anguish and expense of dedicating my life to TTC when it was next to impossible. There are worse things in the world than spending my life traveling with my husband and enjoying him all to myself.
Post # 16
@rosworms: DH would be open to using another person’s sperm or egg–I’m the one who says no to that!
@swissbride: Yes, it would feel incomplete, I agree. DH says he’d even change jobs if we knew we’d be childless. I’ve never really considered that option, so it’s something I’d have to think about.