(Closed) Will you tell anyone before the 12 week mark?

posted 5 years ago in TTC
  • poll: Would you tell immediately after the BFP?
    Parents only : (24 votes)
    23 %
    Parents and really close friends : (53 votes)
    51 %
    No one-- keep it between us for the first 3 mos : (22 votes)
    21 %
    Everyone : (4 votes)
    4 %
  • Post # 2
    Member
    21 posts
    Newbee

    We told our parents about a week after I found out, and also some close friends. We will wait until 12 weeks to tell our extended families and the rest of our friends, and then after they have all been told we’ll do a Facebook announcement.

    Post # 3
    Member
    692 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2014 - Legare Waring House

    Women in my family typically have trouble with TTC and miscarriages (my mother had 3), so I will definitely not be telling “everyone,” we’ve discussed just keeping it to ourselves (although I suppose I would have to tell my coach at the gym – Hey, no one knows but you and my husband, capiche?! – to avoid any potential issues there…<br /><br />In short, I probably wouldn’t even tell my sister before 12 weeks. While the emotional support is one thing, I would hate to have everyone else go through that pain as well.

    Post # 4
    Member
    692 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: February 2013

    Ideally, I don’t want to tell anyone until 12 weeks, not even my parents.  If something were to happen, I wouldn’t want to have to go around informing others, reliving the pain.  I’d rather just silently move on.  Darling Husband will probably want to tell his parents right away, though, so IDK how that will work out.

    Post # 5
    Member
    4675 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    I had an early MC and I’m glad that I didn’t tell anyone.  I did tell my mom and sort-of told a friend after the fact, but when I was better able to handle the situation.  The MC happened right before Christmas, and it would have been a lot of family knowing, and themselves and myself potentially feeling awkward.  For me, it was something I had to deal with and accept before I wanted to let others know about the MC.   We were planning on telling at Christmas, when I was 7 weeks.  In future pregnancies, I plan on waiting until the 3 month mark to tell family and close friends.  

    Post # 6
    Member
    4014 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    Nope 🙂

    Post # 8
    Member
    2967 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    we told our parents (and some friends who sort of found out accidentally, haha) when i was about 6-7 weeks along and had planned on telling everyone at 12 weeks. unfortunately, we ended up losing the baby when i was almost 9 weeks and we told our close/immediate family what happened. i miscarried on easter weekend, so there were family gatherings that i stayed away from and telling everyone that i just wasn’t feeling well resulted in the usual “is she pregnant?!?!” comments, so it was just easier to just tell everyone than have to keep hearing those things. little by little we told extended family what had happened. i/we actually appreciated everyone’s support during that time, so i’m glad that we decided to tell them. i think it would have been harder having to keep our grief a secret.

    for our next pregnancy, we will probably tell close friends/family early on so they can at least share our excitement if god forbid something should happen again.

    Post # 9
    Member
    227 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    I didn’t have a choice of to tell or not to tell. My morning sickness has been so terrible, my workmates found out when I was 8 weeks because I have been constantly unwell and running to the bathroom to be sick. I didn’t feel right not telling them as I work in a team environment and needed their support and help to get through it!

    Post # 10
    Member
    105 posts
    Blushing bee

    I was thinking I’ll keep it secret until 12w too, but it didn’t happen. First, I had to tell my boss and project manager due to long-term planning of workload, then one of my best friends asked and I couldn’t keep it to myself, and at 7w we told my parents and DH’s twin brother. I’ll wait to tell extended family until later, though, and won’t “announce” anything in social media or just for sake of announcing. Bad things can happen at any time of pregnancy (my mother miscarried in 6 months), so I’ll keep it in reasonably small circle (people whom I meet on a regular basis).

    Post # 11
    Member
    2529 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    I will tell my boss when I have my first appointment that affects my working day. There have been several pregnancies in my workplace in the last three years and she has been so good to the mums that I feel honesty is the best policy.

    I guess apart from that I would keep it to myself, unless I really needed to tell. Major morning sickness, showing early etc.

    The biggest one I am worried about is my dad offering me food that I can’t eat anymore and me having to turn it down…he might know something is up then!

    However, I cannot lie and if someone directly asked me “are you pregnant?” I would struggle to not say yes.

    Post # 12
    Member
    6524 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: September 2013

    sherryberry:  we told close friends and our parents at 10 weeks. It was the perfect christnas gift. Im currently 13 weeks now

    Post # 13
    Member
    104 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    Darling Husband and I have been talking about this since I got my BFP earlier this week. Hes so excited and wants to tell family now. Im much more hesitant. Part of me wants to tell them asap cause Im impatient and excited and the other part wants to wait til we see the heart beat. My thing is I dont want to get excited and for family to get excited and then have to see the look of pity if something was to go wrong (my SIL is also due in march so i feel like it will make the situation worse). Darling Husband said he was so excited and wanted to tell the guys at work. I said I dont have an issue with him doing that but he needs to be prepared that if something goes wrong, he will have to face them and tell them. So far he has told one guy. 

    Post # 14
    Member
    1669 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2014

    We don’t plan on telling anyone before the 12 week mark – not even our parents! My parents may guess if we get pregnant because we see them more often, but his parents are in another country and I’d prefer to wait to tell everyone. Darling Husband and I are very private people and I think it will be nice to have it between ourselves.

    Post # 15
    Member
    356 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2011 - Laurel Rock Farms, PA

    With our son we told parents and siblings at 6 weeks and certain friends.   We told everyone else around 10 weeks.    

    Pregnancy #2 right now 4wks 3 days We plan on telling our parents tomorrow and only my close girlfriends know.    

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