(Closed) Will you work or be a stay home wife?

posted 9 years ago in Married Life
  • poll: What do you plan to do?


    Stay Home

  • Post # 3
    1139 posts
    Bumble bee

    I will be a stay home wife. I worked the last 2 years out of college while he finished law school and then I quit my horrible job when he started working. I love taking care of the home, making fabulous meals and cleaning etc…and he loves a happy me. He knew from the get go that I am more traditional and had no problem with it. Some people love being a homemaker, some love working…just a personal preference. 

    we are not planning on having children…and if that changes we will probably adopt or foster; so there is no rush there (biologically speaking). For now we just want to really enjoy eachother, travel a lot and experience what life has to offer without worrying about the little ones. 

    Post # 4
    2450 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    we can’t afford for me to be a stay at home wife, but we really would like me to if he ever gets to a paygrade that we can afford to live on.

    Post # 5
    2892 posts
    Sugar bee

    Unfortunately – I’ll be working. Would stay at home in a heartbeat if it weren’t for the fact that we were in a gray area when it comes to income and both of us make just under what we’d need to be able to support the other. (Sigh)

    Post # 6
    672 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    Well if all goes according to plan he’ll secure the position at the mental health facility he is interning in. I will continue working and finish up school for a year or two after the wedding but if all goes according to plan I’ll be a stay at home wife/mother as nothing would make me happier. I want to raise our children exactly how we want and staying at home would also allow me to pursue the interests that I don’t currently get to pursue(painting, art shows, charity work, etc.)

    Post # 7
    1346 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: November 2012

    Ill be working until we have kids. With any luck my partner will have a job that will mean we dont need the second income otherwise he will be working away πŸ™

    Post # 8
    2889 posts
    Sugar bee

    I will be working as long as I can have a job that does not make me miserable. I have agreed to follow his career location wise at the moment but he has promised that if I get a better offer down the lin, he will follow my career. He always says that he wants to be the stay at home dad when we have children but I don’t think that will ever happen as his career is on a great path at the moment. I think we would both work as we realize we would both rather hire someone to clean the house and work more to afford such a luxury than do it ourselves. I think we have found a happy medium where we both work as long as we can and will figure out the rest as circumstances change. Sometimes I think not working would give me time to follow my creative outlets but I think I would get bored after about a month as I had a 3 month period of not working in teh past and felt like I was about to go insane. Which leads me to ask you if he is gone for 2-3 weeks at a time, what would you do that whole time to keep yourself happy? I know everyone is differnt but I know I would go insane if I didn’t spend a lot of time with other people in his absence and all of my friends work full time so I would not be able to see them during the day other than for the occasional lunch date.

    Post # 9
    2491 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    I wish there was an “undecided” or “other” option.

    Up until about 2 years ago I could NEVER imagine being a Stay-At-Home Mom. I had the greatest respect for women who do it, because I knew it must be an exhausting (albeit rewarding) job. Having now taught Kindergarten and been a “mom” to 30 kids for 8 hours a day, I have had a very tiny glimpse into what it must be like to be at home with a child all day (which is the part I was scared of).

    Now I’m on the fence. I do have the advantage, with my job, that until my child turns three, I can have my mat leave extended (but unpaid), so I could give it a “trial run” if I felt the need. On the other hand, After a year of mat leave I might be chomping at the bit to go back to work.

    I will know when the time comes πŸ™‚

    Post # 10
    106 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    I just spent 8 years of my life in school getting higher education, and now I’m in 3 years of further training. You can bet after all that, I’m going to be working. I also have a heck of a lot of money to pay back in loans, and it’s not fair to ask my fiance to pay it. I was the one who decided to go to school for so long, so I can’t burden him with my debts. 

    The other thing may have more to do with the way I was raised. I can’t tell you how many times my mother has told me how vital it is to have a degree and a job, what do you do if your husband loses his job? Or if he ends up divorcing you? It’s much harder to re-enter the job market if you’ve been out of it for a few years. I have nothing but respect for SAHMs, but in this unsure economy and the fact that nobody wants to think about the possibility of divorce when they get married but it does unfortunately happen, what do you do then? 

    Post # 12
    7975 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2013 - UK

    Personally, I couldn’t cope without work. I enjoy it, and it is such a change of scenery from doing all the physical jobs around the house (cleaning, DIY, gardening etc). Plus, a lot of housework drives me crazy… I’m getting a cleaner as soon as I can afford it, LOL!

    All I can say is that I don’t know what it’s like in the USA, but over here then one of you would have to be an investment banker or something in order to be able to manage to have a middle-class lifestyle on one salary (by that, I mean own your own small to medium sized house, run one family car, go on a non-luxury holiday once or twice a year, eat out in a restaurant once every week/two weeks, and send your child(ren) to private schools). That’s not happening for me anytime soon!

    Post # 13
    1572 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    a little of both, I guess? Right now I think that I qualify as a stay at home partner (grad school semester off, health issues, but I do freelance work and have been busy with bloging and consulting). If/when we have children, i’d like to be teaching partime, I would not full time work with my health and children. It’s just setting up for failure. I do also volunteer now. I don’t think I could ever just not do..anything? I hve some lovely friends who do adn i want to ask “What do you do? No really?” I want to be very involved in our childrens lives, but I also love teaching so I would be happy to do both.

    Post # 15
    9478 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2012

    I will probably be a stay at home mom, but also help Fiance with his plumbing business.  It really depends on how things are going for us.  That’s the plan though.

    Post # 16
    2103 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: April 2011

    Hubby and I fight over who’s going to be stay at home…and we don’t even plan to have kids. LOL. We don’t really fight, but we’d both love to be able to stay at home and not have to work….but we also both don’t want to sacrifice the luxuriess that both of us working affords us. I would have the cleanest house and fittest body if I didn’t spend so much time wasted at work…but, ah well. Such is life.

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