Wish it would just happen already

posted 6 months ago in Waiting
Post # 2
Member
3721 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

It seems like the plans are in motion. Has he ever given you any reason to doubt what he says as far as making plans go? I know it’s hard not to be jealous, but take time to enjoy this period. I actually enjoyed the waiting stage once I knew my husband had plans to buy a ring. As long as he has been true to his word in the past then let him do his thing for the next 6 months. If nothing has happened by this summer, then I’d say it’s time to have another serious conversation.

Post # 4
Member
173 posts
Blushing bee

Is he a perfectionist? He might be saving for the perfect ring (rings can be very expensive!), he may be ironing out the proposal or he may be waiting for you to stop asking to catch you more by surprise (after all wouldn’t you hate to look back and wonder whether he just proposed because you nagged you him). Sounds like it would pay to be patient for a little longer. I know it’s easier said than done.

Post # 6
Member
338 posts
Helper bee

He’s planning to ask his dad to help him pay for the engagement ring, even though he has the money to buy it himself? That’s a bit strange to me. The engagement ring should be from him, not from his dad.

Post # 8
Member
338 posts
Helper bee

But if he doesn’t need help paying for the ring, why can’t he just say “No thank you”? Just because your parents offer money doesn’t mean you have to take it. My parents offer to pay for lots of things, but I politely turn them down because I’m an adult and I don’t think I should be relying on financial support from my parents, especially for things I can easily afford on my own. It’s just a desire to be independent, instead of jumping at the opportunity to take every handout that’s offered to me.

His dad probably offered because he thought your SO couldn’t afford a ring on his own. But if he can afford the ring on his own, there’s no reason to ask his dad to chip in, especially if it will take “a bit of mustering up” the courage to ask him and he’s using that as a reason to delay buying the ring.

Post # 10
Member
1 posts
Wannabee
  • Wedding: January 2019

catqueen92 :  he’s NOT a man. Your bf shouldn’t be looking for handouts. His dad dhould have no opinion or say. Helping him pay? Lame. Can’t believe you’re actually defending this …..you’re sad.

Post # 12
Member
265 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: Scotts ~ Walnut Creek

Honestly I think the pp had some valid points. You stated in your OP his father offered to help pay for the ring, which your bf as an adult could decline bc he has his own money. But ok never mind that. Later you stated your bf needed mustering up to ask his father for the contribution he already offered??? That doesn’t make sense. I’ll give him points for having a creative excuse but sounds like an excuse all the same. Good luck.

Post # 14
Member
265 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: Scotts ~ Walnut Creek

catqueen92 :  We’re strangers on the internet digesting the information you’ve provided. If a few of us came to the same conclusion after reading your post perhaps its the way you wrote it that may be the problem? Food for thought. As I said, good luck. And try to chill…

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