Wish it would just happen already

posted 2 weeks ago in Waiting
Post # 16
Member
188 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: Scotts ~ Walnut Creek

catqueen92 :  I’m going to again stress that we are STRANGERS on the internet with the hope that you stop taking things personal. We’re entitled to our opinions and you’re entitled to maturely disagree or disregard them entirely. Personally, I wouldn’t accept money from my parents as an adult knowing I don’t need it. People generally offer to *help* bc they feel its needed. And you didn’t phrase it as a gift you said his father offered to help. 🤷‍♀️ So that, imho, is not the same as if his parents gave you money as a gift.

But again, internet stranger here. You do what you like.

Post # 18
Member
90 posts
Worker bee

wildernessgal :  you sound nasty and bitter over having pooor parents by the way you’re attacking this woman’s fiancé for having a generous father. Get over yourself. 

Post # 19
Member
76 posts
Worker bee

Idk bee. It just seems kinda weird…I guess it’s the way you describe how he’s going about it- asking for the contribution his dad offered (which is not a wedding gift) when he already has the money for it on his own. It comes off as kind of greedy. And missing the point of getting engaged. It makes it seem like his dad is helping with a business transaction or something idk. I feel like it’s something he would be happy to spend money on as long as it’s within a reasonable budget.

An engagement ring is not a wedding gift. Why can’t he just accept the contribution from his dad later as an actual monetary wedding gift? I feel like an engagement ring is something for just you and your partner’s involvement. It is perceived by many as a sentimental and timeless piece that is symbolic of your love and devotion to each other. And having your bf’s dad involved and financially tied to the ring when he doesn’t need to be just would feel weird and I’d think about it every time I looked at the ring- that my bf could afford to get me this beautiful ring and worked hard to get it on his own and didn’t need to be paid back some for it. But insisted on getting partially reimbursed from his dad because he bought a more expensive ring than he probably should have it just wants more money. 

However, I get that that’s not what you were asking about and if that’s the arrangement and you’re fine with it that’s fine but there’s no need to get defensive of others stating their opinions. I recognize not everyone feels the same way I do about engagement rings but I was just trying to give you some insight into the feedback you were getting and not liking. Hope this helps

Post # 20
Member
29 posts
Newbee

I know this isn’t the original topic, but I agree with it not being a problem for a parent to offer money to help. I see it in the same way as a parent passing down an heirloom ring. Should the proposer say “no I don’t need the family ring, I have money”. Or not accepting money to help pay for the wedding. If their parents are willing to help out with the economy the way it is, then that’s fantastic considering it’s not possible within some people’s means. 

 

I hope that he isn’t using that as a stalling tactic though and actually asks him soon to get the ball rolling for you! Waiting sucks! I’m in the process of waiting (ring will be ready in a week or two and I’m not sure when he will pop the question). Good luck! 

Post # 21
Member
47 posts
Newbee

ak2024 : Completely agree.


catqueen92 :
  I completely understand him needing to muster the courage to talk to his dad even after his dad offered to help. As I would understand it, if the details hadn’t been firmly agreed upon, it may be a little awkward to remind someone of a previous financial offer as talking about money is often a tricky subject! As for whether or not he should take the money, that is entirely his decision and nothing to do with anyone else. More on topic…I hope you get your proposal soon and that you love the ring your boyfriend chooses for you ^_^

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