Post # 1
- Wedding: November 2014 - The Celebration Farm
My fiance decided he would like to incorporate some sort of memorial table at our reception which is totally fine by me.
However, if we’re going to include some grandparents that have passed away, we need to include all grandparents that have passed away. This only becomes tricky because my parents are divorced and my mom remarried when I was very young so I had stepdad for over 20 years. That marriage, too, ended in divorce. She is now on lucky #3! At any rate, my stepdad (who will always remain a dad to me no matter how long they’ve been divorced) will be walking me down the aisle along with my dad. I’d like to include his father who passed away in our memorial table as well as his mother who is in too poor of health to travel to the wedding.
My fiance thinks it’s weird to include people who are still alive which is why I suggested the “Wish You Were Here” sentiment rather than something that reflects only those who have passed. I think this is perfect since he also has a Grandpa who can’t make it due to poor health.
So basically my question is, do you think it’s weird to do a memorial table of sorts that includes grandparents that are both dead and those too ill to make it?
Post # 2
I think that would be weird. If you want to mention his mom and grandpa, maybe your officiant can say something in the ceremony about them.
Post # 3
taylor15220: I think it would be weird. My dad gave a welcome speech and acknowledged his parents who couldn’t be in attendance and my mom read a note from her dad who couldn’t be there.
Post # 4
I think the whole concept of the memorial table is weird and creepy. My husband had the pastor mention his parents (both had passed away) in the blessing before the meal but that was the only mention of dead people.
Post # 5
I think that would be super weird.
Post # 6
taylor15220: I’ve seen it and I think its nice. Personally, I’m not doing it because I’m incorporating my lost loved ones in different ways. I’m wearing a necklace my late grandparents got me when I was very young, but also on the back of our wedding program I’m having “For those loved, and lost” with a list of our lost loved ones and some sort of quote. I feel like my grandparents would hate seeing pictures of themselves on a table, lol.
Post # 7
I don’t think it is weird at all. I plan on doing a “where we come from” table, including pictures o our parents weddings and our grandparents weddings. My family and his are going to LOVE it, I just know.
Post # 8
We did one side of our guest book table with something like this. DH had lost his mom’s parents YEARS ago, and I had lost my dad’s dad a LONG time ago, but just lst my dad’s mom 2 years ago – so that was very recent for me. I don’t know if I would have done something for someone too ill to make it, but possibly if something were to have happend to the other grandparents that were there before our wedding date.
We had a rose in a vase for each of them (and for an aunt of DH’s that passed away a year and a half ago), then had a sign that something to the extent of wishing they were here. We also had a photo of each. We also had our officiant say something in the ceremony, since our ceremony was family only.
I also had a necklace that my Grandma wore all the time attached to my bouquet, but still wanted to do something for the others that had past away years ago.
Post # 9
taylor15220: we had a fireplace/mantle in our reception area and lined up photos of loved ones that we’ve lost along the mantle and hung and bunting from it that said “in loving memory”. i think the table idea is nice as long as its not set up as “places” at the table, maybe more like a table with their photos. and now that i think about it…it would be kinda creepy to include people who have passed and those who are still alive…
Post # 10
I really don’t care for the “in memory” tables at all. A friend gathered pictures of couples of important friends and family in their life and had them displayed on a table. So lots of cool pictures of couples- some new, some old, some dead and some alive. Much nicer.
Post # 11
No I don’t think it’s weird in your situation at all. I was just in a wedding and her dad passed away. They had a family pic of her parents and her and her brother in the “If heaven wasn’t so far away” table.. her, her mom and her brother are all alive and well.
I will also have a table. Both of my parents and my FI’s mom have passed away. I will have my parents wedding picture and a picture of my FI’s mom. Our grandfathers have both passed away within the last 2 months. I had pictures made with both of them in my wedding dress before their passing so those will also be there. We will be getting married on what would be his grandparents 57th anniversary. I plan on having their wedding picture on that table as well. His grandma is doing fine so hopefully she makes it to our wedding, in which case, she will be alive but her picture will be on our table.
Who cares if strangers on the internet think it is weird. I think you having “wish you were here” is a lot better than “if heaven wasn’t so far away” since all of them are not dead. I can understand where your FI is coming from, but I think “wish you were here” takes care of that.
Post # 12
I don’t think this is weird at all, we are doing a table with all of the wedding pics from our parents and grandparents both dead and alive.
Post # 13
I don’t think it’s weird at all… I was just at a wedding where they had this, including a picture of my grandfather in the photos that I’ve never met before. Everyone stopped to look at it and I thought it was quite nice.
Post # 14
I think a “we wish you were her” tableis a lovley way to honour those who can’t be. There is nothing weird about remembering people fondly and honouring them
Post # 15
We did something similar but a little less “memorialy” We had a shelf with pictures (wedding pictures when they were availble, and just a nice couple picture when not) of our different ancestors, alive and passed on. Our parents, who are all alive, were included. It was sort of a tribute to other couples in our lives or something. My mom and I had a good time puting it together and I think other people enjoyed it as well.