Post # 1
So Christmas is days away and apparently that means everyone wants to ask the question ‘When are you getting engaged?’ We have been together 7 years and it’s no secret that I am ready to become a Mrs but surely by asking myself or SO when it will be isn’t helping the situation? Especially as they do it to him in front of me, very awkward!! It was even written in a Christmas card to us both!
This is just a vent, I realise I’m lucky to have such wonderful friends and family who want this for us both (as much as I do it seems) but each time it happens it builds up the tension and I know SO will propose when he is ready.
Does anyone else feel like they are patiently waiting but the rest of the world isn’t? How do you respond? x
Post # 3
@MissHoney: I know exactly how you feel! My Fiance and I were together 9 years before he popped the question and I’m pretty sure that is a big reason he tended to avoid family functions. Even now, all we get is “wow, finally” or “we didn’t think it was ever going to happen!” And I know it bugs him. We just always smile and laugh like it’s the first time we’ve heard it. Sometimes we will point out that we’ve had a lot going on in our careers and want to be financially stable, yadda yadda. One day Fiance actually lost his cool and said “yeah, like we Haven’t Heard THAT before”
Just try to focus on the two of you and remember that what everyone else says/wants/thinks doesn’t matter in this situation. I had resolved that though I REALLY wanted to get married, I was happy. I wouldn’t be if I wasn’t with him and if that meant being unmarried but with him, I was willing to accept it!
Post # 4
@MissHoney: I know the feels! My family and friends bring it up ALL the time, and while I’m glad that they want this for me… I wish they’d all just shut up! Its hard enough dealing with the waiting on my own, but having to calm other people down about it is absurd!
Post # 5
@MissHoney: haha your title for this post totally cracked me up! and i know how you feel. everyone I go to church with asks me all the time. and there is one little old lady who always grabs my hand and asks to see the ring. it is super annoying and awkward.
Post # 6
@MissHoney: totally with you. Last year was our 8th Christmas together. The number of hints and questions that were sent our way was unbearable.
Post # 7
I am not sure how the Shut it up pact works, but have you talked to your SO? Do you want to bring it up, at all? If not…then just tell your mom and siblings to lay off a bit.
Post # 8
Ugh, seriously! Since I first started thinking about getting engaged to SO my behavior has changed completely. I have gone from being the biggest whiner in the world about it (so ashamed now) to the biggest advocate for SO to do it when it feels right to him (because I know that is right for us). I know everyone means well but really at this point it is our own personal business folks! Best wishes to you and your SO – hope you can enjoy your holidays with a minimum of those types of comments : ) And from one patient waiting bee to another I hope you don’t have to be patient for too much longer ; )
Post # 9
I am right there with you! This is SO and I’s 3rd Christmas together and everyone is obessed with asking! I get it, I want to be engaged soon as well, but the pressure us just too much sometimes. I just say that it’ll happen when we are ready and that I just loving having him around all of the time. SO and I were long distance before he moved here about a year ago, so the excuse works out well for us 🙂
Post # 10
totally LOL’d at the title hahahaa! It’s SPOT ON, I just want to scream at everyone that they are asking the wrong person, and even if they asked the right one they aren’t going to tell you, just shut up!!!
Post # 11
Absurd is the right word for calming other people’s wedding fever! You want to say: if I can be calm and wait patiently then so can you! But I’m faaaar to polite to do anything but smile and nod awkwardly.
I’m glad it’s not just me! Bless that little old lady of yours, do you find yourself trying to avoid her to avoid the situation?
Christmas really does seem to bring it out in people, I often want to say “Well he won’t propose now if you’re badgering him about it will he?!” Luckily I love Chrsitmas soooo much anyway!
I’m don’t talk to SO about it because he knows I am ready and I know it’s what he wants too so if I leave him alone he’ll do it when he’s ready. But I feel it brings a weird tension in the air when other people mention it to him in front of me, and it’s surpising me how often it happens. Unfortunately it’s those people not as close as us who are the biggest culprits, long distant friends from uni, colleagues, his boss, distant family members etc…
I have got a lot of patience left in me as I’m sure you do but fingers crossed we won’t need it
Exactly! It’s not like it’s not crossed his mind and he’s waiting for someone to suggest the idea, it will happen when the time is right!
Post # 12
Thanks for your comments bees, it’s good to know I am not alone in this.
Been thinking of solutions- how about baby on board badges except to warn others not to ask the question? Or Fawlty Towers style- Don’t mention the ring!
Post # 13
@MissHoney Thanks for the clarification. It is hard to know what everyone on these boards wants, themselves. No idea on solutions except to mention it ahead to everyone. Although, there will always be that one aunt!
Post # 14
@MissHoney: That is exactly what I went through. I honestly didn’t give engagement much thought until certain people started frequently harping on the fact that we weren’t married. I think they cared more than I did.
Post # 15
Well, if it makes you feel any better, I know Fiance was getting some pressure from his mom, and it actually seems to have sped things up a bit. Maybe if he realizes the whole world thinks he is dragging his feet, it will cause him to think about what it must be doing to you.
Post # 16
I definitely have more of this perspective on it. 🙂 SO’s grandfather (adorable man, I love him) has started taking me aside to ask what my intentions are for his grandson and letting me know he wants to see a wedding. It’s a little awkward, but it certainly has an effect on the SO. Watching his grandfather do this to me has definitely startled him. He is starting to realize his family is giving up on him and has moved on to more radical tactics.