(Closed) Wishing I could say good-bye to this bridesmaid

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
46417 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

It’s sad how stress either gets to some people, or brings out their true nature.

I think you are taking the high road by just carrying on with the plans that are already made as her wedding is close.

You could however re-evaluate that decision after her wedding.

Post # 4
Member
3148 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Holy crap!  I am not sure where to start, my head is spinning from all that she is doing.  She sounds a little nuts, sorry I don’t mean to be rude.  But there is a lot to sort out.  I wouldn’t want to be in her wedding either, better yet my own at this point.  If she’s taken your valuable time often to talk about things like the starving children in this world, you need to sit her down and speak to her about how she is acting… she is not acting like a true friend (imo) more like a jealous over controlling, over bearing future bride.

Post # 5
Member
14 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: July 2011

She sounds super jealous to me. It sounds like she does not have the budget or imagination to pull off her own unique wedding dreams….so she feels like squashing yours. I would go ahead and be in her wedding…If you backed out at this time, it would really be unfair to her and her family.  I would seriously think about “un asking” her to participate your wedding though.  All the fun, excitement and attention from her wedding will be long gone and she may be even more critical of your plans.

Post # 6
Member
1269 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

If you don’t want to look at her, be around her, whatever, how you can stand up for her at her wedding?  Especially just to end the friendship later?  That will hurt her worse to see you in her pictures.  If you are planning to mend the friendship later then yes, take the high road but if not, you should step down. 

Or even better, talk to her!  Tell her she is hurting your feelings by her negativity.  My dad was negative about a few things for my wedding.  I finally told him that I have enough stresses about the wedding that he shouldn’t be one of them and that for every negative thing he had to think of 10 positives.  He never said a bad word again.  Sometimes people just don’t even realize what they’ve said and a good friend will point it out tactfully to help make them a better person.

Post # 8
Member
3482 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

If you truly believe there is no hope for your friendship, best to end it now. I know several people who had major fallings-out with their bridesmaids, and now every time they don’t even like looking at the wedding photos that have their former friends in them.

Whatever your decision, just make sure it’s one you won’t regret.

Post # 9
Member
4803 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

She sounds extremely jealous that your werdding (from the sounds of it) is going to be fancier than hers. I would try one last time to let her know thatyou’re happy and excited for her and her fiance, but that it upsets you that she seems to always have negative things to say about your wedding and fiance, and that you don’t want to lose her as a friend but feel that she is pulling way and being very negative with you. Really try to talk to her about it. And if she continues to be mean, I’d drop her as a friend and a Bridesmaid or Best Man. I always tell people to never un-ask a Bridesmaid or Best Man unless they’re ready to end the friendship, but it seems like you’re at that point.

Post # 10
Member
7403 posts
Busy Beekeeper

Life is too short. I’m usually very cautious about calling out someone on jealousy, but is beyond obvious. Cause she can only do a cake and punch reception, she’s ragging on you? Whatever. cut her lose now. You’ve spoken about it before she should no regard for your feelings and turned it around on you. I don’t see the point to trying ot get thru to her again. The last convo should be the kiss off.

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