Post # 1
Just needed to vent about my bridesmaids… There has been so much drama, and I really shouldn’t be involved, but somehow I’ve been pulled into it. I have my younger sister as Maid/Matron of Honor, and 5 other bridesmaids, 2 of which are close friends, one Out of Town from college, my future SIL, and another local friend… They’ve all been emailing to plan my “top secret” shower and bachelorette party that I’m not supposed to know anything about. My sister one night asked my opinion on how early I thought the invites for the shower should go out because she was getting mixed messages from online and the rest of the girls. I told her I have no idea since I don’t even know when the showers is and that I’m sure she could figure it out. So, a few days later, I get cornered by another bridesmaid and get scolded for trying to be sneaky and find out information about my shower from my sister. “You need to stop asking people and just let this be a surprise. We are all working really hard and you don’t even seem to care. Your sister is doing so much work and wants this to be great for you but you can’t even appreciate it. We’re really hurt that you’re trying to ruin everything, we just want it to be special for you.” Mind you – I am getting almost yelled at. And I’m trying to explain that I haven’t done anything “sneaky”, I was just fielding a question from my sister… I’m just totally floored that I’m getting “yelled” at about a party that they are throwing for me – that I’m not supposed to know anything about… Well – maybe after the party when I see how much work you’ve put in, I will appreciate it. But at this point, I know nothing so how can I appreciate what you’re doing!!?? UGH.
Another week goes by and my sister calls me and accuses me of asking the other bridesmaid (who just scolded me) for shower info and trying to ruin the whole thing. Apparently there were some nasty emails going around about me trying to be sneaky and trying to get information out of people, which is a complete lie! I feel like I can’t even defend myself because I have no idea what is being said. SO FRUSTRATING! The other bridesmaids must be like, WTF, her friends/sister are crazy – why am I having to deal with this?? Hopefully they are just ignoring it, but, I guess that pisses people off too…
So, to continue, this weekend I saw my sister and she says “Whats up with this bridesmaid? Are you even friends with her? She doesn’t respond to all of my emails….” No, I just picked random people I don’t even care about to be in my bridal party… OF COURSE SHE’S A FRIEND! I told my sister that my Bridesmaid or Best Man has probably been really busy with work and her kids and that she doesn’t have the time to be in on a crazy email chain back and forth every day. At this point, I feel like my sister is causing a lot of the drama, but I dont’ think they’re all getting along which is so frustrating… I wish I just didn’t know about any of this so I didn’t have to worry about it… Thanks for listening to my crazy long rant, just had to get it out of my system!!
Post # 3
lol good rant!
I have so much to look forward to now :/
Post # 4
Yikes! I’d send an email to all of them and let them all know to stop talking to you about your shower. You don’t want to know anything about it, and it’s stressing you out since you’re randomly getting yelled at by everyone and you didn’t even do anything!!
Post # 5
Oh wowzer! That is pretty intense! Sorry you are dealing with so much drama so early in the process. I agree with the PP, just email all of them letting them know not to even bring up the shower in front of you because you appreciate the surprise they are doing for you, and don’t want to know any informaiton about it.
Post # 6
thanks for posting. I’d seen so much wedding drama with maids over the years that now that I’m finally getting married, I’m having just one attendent. No shower, no bachelorette party, no matching dress junk, no drama.
My best advice in situations like this is to not engage, don’t call and don’t email – let your sister run the show and focus on what’s really important to you. Good Luck! 🙂
Post # 7
@GreenMTBride: Lol at your title – I just said this to Fiance today! They’d drive you mad…
Post # 8
As hard as it was for me,, I decided to skip out on having a wedding party. I have asked my sister to stand up for me as a witness/support.. and she’s accepted. I’ll buy her dress/pay for hair & makeup as a gift to her b/c I know she’ll do so much for me (even though she won’t be “required” to).
Post # 9
I agree with PP’s just send a mass email out letting them know not to ask you/talk to you at all about the parties due to you are getting accused of trying to ruin the surprise
Post # 10
The drama is not nessacery. I would send out an e-mail stated that I never inteneded for the drama to unfold and I am extremly happy for everything you girls are doing for me. i think you need to remove yourself from all things shower and just let them take care of it. if your sister or anyone ask you about it then just state that they contact your bridal party…
the comment in your post I didn’t like was “Well – maybe after the party when I see how much work you’ve put in, I will appreciate it. But at this point, I know nothing so how can I appreciate what you’re doing!!??”
I think that statement is rude, I think you should be greatful no matter what they are doing for you and appericate the work they are currently doing. You can appericate that they are working hard to throw you a shower.
Post # 11
Thanks for all the advice ladies. I really just needed to get it out of my system. I’m not sure that I’ll email the crowd since its been a couple days since it all went down. I wouldn’t want to stir up anything. I’m just going to lay low and avoid all conversations about a shower all together. I am looking forward to it – just wishing there was less drama involved…
@AshleyB: That comment was really just me in my head reacting to everything that was unfolding in that situation. OF COURSE I appreciate everything that these girls are doing for me and that they’re even throwing me a shower. The comments from my bridesmaid implied that I knew everything that was going on, what was being planned and how much effort everyone was putting in, but in reality, I had no idea they had even started planning until my sister mentioned something. I just found it frustrating to speak to something that I don’t know the details of. I AM grateful for all of them.