(Closed) With no wedding or engagement ring do guys presume you are fair game

posted 8 years ago in Waiting
Post # 32
8434 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

Rings don’t matter, in fact, sometimes telling them you have a BF/FI/DH doesn’t matter.  If they want to hit on you, a piece of jewerly isn’t going to deter them.

Post # 33
1159 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

View original reply
@MexiPino:  I’m with you on that one. I don’t get hit on as often as I used to because I don’t really go anywhere. But I get checked out when I’m out by myself, and even more so when I’m with Fiance. Actually, once we were walking by a group of random guys and they all walked toward us and shook FI’s hand while simultaneously looking me up and down. I asked if he knew them and he said “Not at all, they just wanted to get a better look at you!” Men!

Post # 34
963 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

A lot of what I’m hearing sounds like street harassment.  And no, those men do not care whether you are wearing a ring.  I get it all the time, with 2 rings on my left ring finger.  The notion that women are “fair game” or should have to avoid doing certain things to discourage harassment annoys me like few other things do.  You should be able to go about your daily life without being eyed like a piece of meat.  My new thing is to simply say “that’s disrespectful” when I get a “heeeey baby,” “nice legs,” etc. (though I’d love to know what other people say).

Post # 35
6352 posts
Bee Keeper

I am not a deer, I have never been “fair game” in my entire life.

Any guy who ever tried to approach me with such a perspective had a very bad time of it, I can promise you. I’ve got no patience for sexists.

I think the thought that you might want to wear an engagement ring to show some other man has already planted his flag on you in order to protect yourself from sexual harrassment is an extremely tragic thought, especially in a first world country. That’s not what my engagment ring is for at all.

Post # 36
4799 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

What PPs said – a creep is going to be a creep regardless of what you’re wearing and if you have a ring on.

Post # 37
134 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

I used to wear a fake engagement ring when I went out. I didn’t do it because it stopped people from hitting on me – I didn’t notice any increase or decrease in the number of men who approached me. However, what it DID do for me was it gave me (in my own head) justification for being a completely disinterested bitch. I really, really loathe being hit on.

Now, that’s all MY OWN psychology and issues. I never felt ‘guilty’ for rejecting someone, but wearing a ring made me feel ‘justified’ for turning them down so quickly, if that makes sense. It also, in one instance, made a complete stranger intervene when someone wouldn’t leave me alone. The only influence telling them I was engaged ever seemed to have was that about half of them backed off… but the other half, as previous posters have said, were more interesed.

My rambling point is: it’s probably not going to change anything.

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