- 6 years ago
So, in order to not write a novel I’m going to water this all down as much as possible.
I am 24 (almost 25) and my bf is 35. He is divorced and has 2 children. I have never been married and do not have children,nor do I want any children of my own.
We have been together for a little over 2 years now. Of course, I am in my mid 20’s so I am experiencing the “engagement boom” literally, every day I get on facebook to see ANOTHER person engaged. Do I get that stomach dropped, sick to my stomach feeling? yes, absolutely. I really wish I didn’t. I want it to not bother me so badly, but it definitely does.
Our situation is as follows, he pays a hefty child support payment each month and ended up keeping the house in the divorce so he is paying a mortgage along with other bills. So he works an part time job, while also working a full time job as a firefighter/paramedic. So it’s not that he doesn’t make a good living, he just puts it all into bills and child support.
I have a few concerns. I worry that he won’t be financially secure enough to contribute to a wedding, at least for a while. I also worry that if we do end up getting married our wedding won’t be as special for him because he’s already experienced the first wedding ordeal, I haven’t. I also am having trouble accepting that I will be his “second” wife if we do get married, and so things won’t be as special with me because he’s already been around the block so to speak, with these life experiences and it will be my first time. I struggle with knowing that it could feel differently to him than me, while if I was with someone without the past we would be experiencing the same feelings.
We are by no means engaged, though we’ve discussed it, and he has indicated that he does want to marry me. I just wonder if theres any other young women out there on this forum who is dating or engaged to someone who has been married before and has kids? I’d love to hear your thoughts, and even if you aren’t in the same situation, I’d love to hear your thoughts as well.