Post # 1
So on our drive home from the theater tonight my husband and I stopped at a gas station. He went inside to get me some water while I waited in the car. While I was waiting I heard a guy yelling across the street. At first I thought he was on the phone so I waited impatiently for my husband to get back do we could hurry and get out of there.
As we turned the car around to leave, we saw what was happening a bit better and called the police. The man was yelling at and beating a woman. Right there on a major street in Huntington Beach. Another man came out from somewhere and yelled at the guy doing the beating to stop. At that point, the man kicked the woman to the ground and relentlessly kicked her over and over. He then bear hugged her, pulled her up, and dragged her behind an apartment complex.
The police showed up shortly thereafter and took our statements. This is part of why I am so upset. I was an awful witness, I think. They put me in the back of a police cruiser and had me try and do a field ID but I swear no one looked like the guy!! I had to be honest and say I wasn’t sure and it made me feel awful.
I mean, it was dark and the assailant was wearing dark clothes but still. I can’t help but feel like I failed. I couldn’t ID anyone. I failed. So I am afraid the guy went back to his partner even madder because j couldn’t get it together or wasn’t observant enough or whatever. I feel awful.
Has this ever happened to anyone else? Any ideas on how I can stop feeling like such a failure? I feel like I let a victim down and can’t get past it.
Any suggestions, advice, etc. would be MUCH appreciated.
Post # 3
Honey, you did the best you could do, you were across a road from him, which is why you can’t closely identify him. Don’t beat yourself up, you should be feeling like a good samaritan not like a bad witness.
Post # 4
I agree! You did great by calling the police and helping them to identify them!
Post # 5
You showed you are a good and compassionat person, alot of people would have just driven away.
I do know what you are feeling. Years ago, when I was a teenager, I was close to being the victim of a serial kidnapper/murderer. It was a good samaritan that stopped it, even though I had no clue what was going on. I was questioned by the police for hours about the man and all I could tell them that he was a police officer. It was valuable information that lead them to the right man, but I could give them no other description. Two more girls lost their lives before he was caught. I have always felt that if I had given a better description he would have been caught earlier and two more girls would not have been killed.
Post # 6
You did a great service, calling the police. You have to remember you’re not in this kind of stressful situation everyday, you were in shock that it was even happening. Even police officers sometimes have trouble giving really good ID’s.
Post # 7
You did the right thing and did try your best! You’re not a trained police officer so you should not beat yourself up for not reacting as one. But I can understand it must be hard to have witnessed something so horrible and be sad you could not do more for that poor girl! Just remember you did all you could!
@tksjewelry: Wow what a horrible experience! So glad you were lucky enough to be saved, and if you hadn’t given your statement perhaps the final toll would have been much more than those two other girls! Still, it’s very sad.
Post # 8
First of all you did everything you could of done! You did nothing wrong. When your adrenaline is pumping, you can’t think as clearly. This is why most people who go through something can’t remember exact details about a tramatic situation. More then likely in a few days you’ll start remembering things you forgot. If you don’t though, then don’t be hard on yourself. There was nothing you could of done. I could imagine how helpless you feel right now. If your religious, then pray. Pray hard about what happened. I’m so sorry you witnessed that. No one should have to. I’ll be praying and sending positive thoughts your way.
Post # 9
At least you just didn’t pick a person just to pick one. That is way better than not being able to pick a person IMO. At least you called the cops. A lot of people wouldn’t have gotten involved. They would have turned the other cheek and walked away.
Post # 10
@Miss Tattoo: totally agree!!!
You did the best you could with the situation, so don’t feel bad. Hopefully the person will be caught soon enough. Maybe the gas station has cameras and were able to catch it happening???
Post # 11
wow! this is like a real life dateline speacial.
i think missflipflops is spot on
do not put blame on yourself for a situation like this – you called and reported it – that alone helped – like miss tattoo said alot of people wouldnt have even gotten involved. Brovo for being strong and doing what you could to help
Post # 12
That is very scary! I would say you did all you could, and shouln’t feel bad about it.
I had a similar situation happen to me.. I was 15 and had my first job as a carhop at a local fast food place. I got robbed at gunpoint when I took a customer their food. Noone got hurt, but I remember later having to go do a sketch and everyone they showed me looked NOTHING like the man.. It was a few days later, and I felt like maybe I just couldn’t remember or didn’t pay enough attention. I was really frustrated with myself, and apparently they never caught him! Scary.
Post # 13
I’m so sorry you had to witness that but at the same time I’m thankful you were there.
Post # 14
@tksjewelry: I am so so sorry for what you went through.
Post # 15
How come no one could stop this man? It must have been in a public place? The other man who yelled, did he try to get the suspect off the woman?
Post # 16
Oh hon, how awful! Don’t be upset with yourself, eye witness information is really really unreliable. Your brain sort of fills in gaps with what it thinks it should see rather than what it does see. And I totally agree with Miss Tattoo, it’s better to admit that you don’t know (I mean, you were across the street at night for goodness sakes!) rather than picking someone for the sake of picking someone and ending up getting the wrong person in trouble! Think of how much stress and hardship you would have ended up putting some random person through if you had done that! Hopefully the other guy who tried to help got a better look at the assailant or was able to provide some more information. Don’t beat yourself up, you did the best you could and you got the police there. I’m sure they’re still working on the case and trying to find this guy.
ETA: If you’re having trouble with this, call the police department and I’m sure they can refer you to a counsellor.