(Closed) Woman at work driving me crazy! Am I being mean?

posted 5 years ago in Career
Post # 2
Member
1526 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2016

“once I even sat in my car and she came outside and tapped on my window!!!!”

That is actually kind of hilarious, not for you but it’s just so ridiculous. I don’t think you’re being mean, she sounds like the mean one. Usually when I hear people start gossiping and telling me stuff I don’t want to know I just politely say, “I’m sorry but I don’t want to talk about X, that’s none of my business”. What I really mean is that it’s none of THEIR business but most of them seem to take the hint.

Post # 3
Member
9541 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

I have zero problem telling people that I don’t enjoy making fun of other people and don’t like to hang out with people who do. The next time she says something mean, I’d call her out on it. If that’s what she likes to do and can’t get that from you, she’ll move on. 

Post # 4
Member
650 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2015

I have a coworker like that, she sits directly across from me.  She’s well known to be the office gossip and is constantly trying to start drama.  I’m polite and fairly new to the office, so she talks to me a lot.  She tries to tell me about drama and make comments like “why can’t everyone just get along” to which I always respond “I don’t notice any drama, I stay out of it”.  I hoped that answer would politely get the message across that I don’t want to hear it, but no such luck.  I can’t wait to see some more ideas… I don’t want to spend my work day listening to gossip.  Telling her outright isn’t an option, she gossips about how rude those people are and makes even more problems.

Post # 5
Hostess
9021 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: Dorset, UK

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jalapenocupcake:  Sheesh, she does sound like a pain. I would jus straight up tell her you like to be alone on your breaks and you don’t wish to engage in office gossip as you don’t want to put yourself in the firing line for lay offs.

Post # 6
Member
5940 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2014

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jalapenocupcake:  I died when I got to the “tapped on the window” part! OMG! I don’t know, I think I’d just tell her straight up you want to break ALONE. No hints, just come out and say it. What a weird, awkward position for you to be put in.

Post # 7
Member
2160 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

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jalapenocupcake:  what i do in that type of situation is put on headphones and say “im sorry,i have some personal stuff to catch up with over my lunchbreak. Catch you later”. And then just ignore her.

Post # 8
Member
2968 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

View original reply
jalapenocupcake:  I think at this point no amount of “dropping hints” are going to work on her because she is definitely not picking up whatever “go away” vibes you are giving her LOL.

I think at this point you can just tell her the truth and that you just arent that into her. 🙂

Post # 9
Member
660 posts
Busy bee

this woman sounds brutal! i would stop engaging in convo as much as you can. just act distracted or busy when she comes by, tell her you’re working on something, or make up an excuse to not talk to her. i have a coworker who comes by to chat and can’t take the hint when i’m busy – so i just “yeah” her while looking at my computer screen. it’s probably rude, but she doesn’t get the hint.

she seems like a big mouth, so i would avoid being super blunt with her because she seems like the type to spread stories or talk about you if you have a confrontation.

Post # 11
Member
9541 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

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jalapenocupcake:  You’d be amazed how well it works! The next time she says something mean about someone else just look her dead in the eye and say “Wow, that’s a really mean thing to say.” She’ll trip over herself backtracking. Or maybe try to laugh it off. But if she understands that you don’t approve of her being mean, she’ll probably just stop talking to you. 

Post # 14
Member
418 posts
Helper bee

View original reply
jalapenocupcake:  annoying coworkers are terrible. Mine makes noises at her desk that make me cringe… think clearing her nose, loud slurping, loud chew/smacking her lip… I have to get up and walk away and am totally grossed out by it, but am not sure how to say anything without coming off as a “B” 

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