(Closed) Woman at work driving me crazy! Am I being mean?

posted 5 years ago in Career
Post # 16
Member
1294 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

Good lord, 

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Elle_bee
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jalapenocupcake, I think we work in the same place. This sounds exactly like one of my old co-workers. Thank god I left that job. She was a very nice person and didn’t gossip at all, but she was SO clingy!!! and just sounds…out of her face….constantly.

Post # 17
Member
9075 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

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jalapenocupcake:  what JenGirl said times a thousand! I’ve had office gossips that didn’t catch the hint and I’ve said “wow, that’s really mean. I’ve always gotten along great with her I don’t understand why you don’t like her.” It does two things – (1) it shows you don’t want to gossip and (2) it puts her in the position to worry that you might tell the other person about her gossip since she’ll think you are friends! 

Post # 18
Member
11385 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2015

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JenGirl:  exactly! 

OP, I do just as JenGirl wrote, I just tell people I don’t want to hear x or y about so and so. If I were you, I would say that loud enough for others to hear the next time she sits near you. That is, if you are really worried that her clinginess is going to smear your reputation. 

 

Post # 19
Member
372 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

Oh no I had a girl at work like that. She was a PAIN!! Also nobody else liked her and I felt sorry for her so I made an effort during her early days to say hello and not make her feel like a total outcast. However i soon realised why she drove everyone else mad – all she did was talk AT me, bitch about colleagues really loudly, get offended if I wouldn’t go to lunch with her, talk over me, demand I help her with things etc. all the while telling me we were ‘so alike’ and ‘such great friends’  Eventually it got to the point where I’d give an excuse every lunchtime why we couldn’t eat out together – working through lunch, need to make a call to my bank, meeting another friend. I felt rude but I was desperate!! She did kind of get the message, along with being passive aggressive each time I said no. I was lucky that she moved jobs in the end so I didn’t have to deal with her! 

Post # 20
Member
1526 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2016

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jalapenocupcake:  Billy Crystal? FOR SHAME! You meant Bill Murray, who is like 1000 times better.

Post # 22
Member
650 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2015

The lady at my work is a good 30 years older than me!  Everyone warned me about her when I began working here, and I felt bad because of how much they made fun of her.  It’s like we’re talking about the same person here.. She’s beens howing more and more of her true self and I keep seeing stories come back around that I know she must have started.  I hear her gossiping all the time now!  I had to leave early for a doc apt. and she was in my business like “omg is everything ok?  How are you doing?  What tests will they run?” and I just blankly said I was fine and walked away.  MYOB!

Post # 23
Member
1270 posts
Bumble bee

I have two annoying coworkers who always try to look over at my computer whenever I’m typing something or looking at a website, on my break or otherwise (one started to do it just now, but suddenly looked away when I turned towards her). I so wish people would just learn to mind their own business.

I get back at the one by cracking my knuckles loudly, which I know she can’t stand. The other… unfortunately I don’t have any way to stop her from being nosy (she’s usually passing through the room when she does it, but she walks by my desk unnecessarily 20x per day).

When you can figure out how to get people to quit being busybodies, write a book. You’ll make a fortune.

Post # 24
Member
2695 posts
Sugar bee

OMG I had one of those. She was just so loud and so crass!! I didn’t want to be affiliated with her professionally. I started putting on headphones and praying at break. She got the hint. I’m sure I looked crazy at first but people knew EXACTLY what I was doing. Sometimes I would get up and take a walk outside. Gossips are generally lazy. They won’t follow you if cardio is involved.

Post # 25
Member
4055 posts
Honey bee

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jalapenocupcake:  You could punch her in the throat, though that may be frowned upon. 

Alternatively, you could just be direct and tell her you’d like alone time when she bothers you on break, and when she comes to gossip at your desk just say you’re busy working. 

I like the throat punch option best *shrugs*

Post # 26
Member
1260 posts
Bumble bee

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amanda3334455:  Totally agree with this. You don’t even need to play any music. Comfortable earbuds in, annoying coworker out.

Post # 27
Member
468 posts
Helper bee

I hate being bothered on my break, like u I just want to be left alone!! I bring my book and barely look up from it, and if anyone try’s to make chat I just continue reading and give nothing back!! Rude? No bothered!! Its my break, I enjoy a time out! Thankfully I don’t have annoying colleagues tho 😌

Post # 28
Member
120 posts
Blushing bee

Jalapenocupcake, I am curious why you think it’s them versus you when being friendly with coworkers. Why does being nice to people mean you will be laid off? Is there a competition of who is the least nice and only they get to keep their job?

Also this lady sounds crazy so maybe being nice/polite isn’t paying off for you. I agree with PP who are suggesting you be more upfront with her, and say you like to be alone during your break.

Post # 29
Member
788 posts
Busy bee

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jalapenocupcake:  If it were me I would bring headphones for my breaks. I feel like that’s a pretty good sign that someone is not open for conversation.

Maybe go for a walk with your headphones in…or read a book with your headphones in? I used to live in a condo that had a pool and I had neighbors that would not let you sit in the quite and enjoy the sunshine. I started bringing down my headphones and I stopped getting interrupted. Cracked me up one day…my phone died so I just had the headphones in with no music actually coming through. People still left me alone! 🙂

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