(Closed) Woman doing my dress said I got “Big”

posted 8 years ago in Dress
Post # 19
Member
429 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Some people are just plain rude! I’m SO sorry she said that to you. It was completely out of line! Sending major long-distance hugs your way!!! I’m sure you’ll look beautiful, and as PP poster said, she’ll always be a jerk!

Post # 21
Member
726 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@LadyLuna711: I’m an islander, and I do feel like a lot of times my family will just point stuff out, and it’s in the same way that it’s acceptable to say “your hair has gotten long” or “you’re so tall now” and isn’t meant to be offensive in any way. It’s just an observation. And in American culture, it’s seen as a judgmental thing to comment on someone’s weight. But within my family (really the only ties I have to my culture) comments on weight have never really come off as “wow you’re hideous now that your weight has changed”. Which, unfortunately, is what I think a lot of people feel is being said to them (in America) when anyone comments on their weight (usually gain, since weight loss is perceived as a “good” thing). So, for what it’s worth, old habits die hard and unless she clearly had a disgusted look on her face, she probably wasn’t trying to be malicious. But if it bothers you (which it clearly does) then say something to her so she doesn’t do it again!

Post # 22
Member
138 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Oh my goodness. How did you not slap her? What a cunt.

Post # 24
Member
3148 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@LadyLuna711: O.O   Although I have a millon come back lines running through my head right now for her… I would’ve probably been the same as you and stunned at what she said.  Just know you’re the better person!  

 

Post # 25
Member
3364 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

Brush it off! Some people tend to “THINK OUT LOUD!”

You just gotta learn good comebacks!

Post # 26
Member
605 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@Miss Smurf: I almost lost my lunch from laughing so hard! lol!!!!

Post # 28
Member
871 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2016

Devil’s advocate: Perhaps she did not realize that pointing out loudly and publicly that a woman (a bride on top of that) has gained is rude and MAYBE she was concerned genuinely that you needed another fitting.

As another poster said if it was not said in a malicious tone then it is cultural and she most likely was just thinking  she gained weight I had better do another fitting to be sure all is well.

Also doesn’t matter how long a person has been in a country, culture sticks! My family and my fiance’s family are still very xenophobic ppl regardless of their jobs or length of time in the country. One more than one occassion my Future Father-In-Law has said “You know you can’t trust a cake” and a person who falls into that category who he likes could be standing there and he’d still say it.

So smile, be beautiful and remember other than possibly wanting to do another fitting for you SHE has forgotten all this, YOU are focusing on it and that is more telling in terms of your opinion than that of hers.

Post # 30
Member
2739 posts
Sugar bee

@LadyLuna711: *THIS*!! I’m West African and this happens a lot with my folks. I try not to take it to heart and Fiance has told me countless times that America has made me too sensitive. I can see someone from my culture saying this. OTOH, I went for a dress fitting (a couple years ago) with a Russian lady and she straight out told me ‘What’s going on bR? Your hips and stomach are getting big’…uh…I dunno?

Post # 31
Member
256 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Wow, people’s disregard for others feelings never ceases to amaze me. I am so sorry that happened to you. I am sure that you will look AMAZING in your dress. I would email the owner and tell her about your experience.

The topic ‘Woman doing my dress said I got “Big”’ is closed to new replies.

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