Interesting approach, but I think unnecessary. There is a lot of distance between dating around and living exclusively with someone for years.
After my exfiance and I split up, I did a ton of dating for 10 years, in the states and overseas. So I came up with a set of rules for myself regarding men. Note – these are MY rules and they work for me, they may not work for everyone:
1. Never accept anything less than full respect. If I make a decision about what I am comfortable with and he attempts to pressure or talk me out of it, he’s gone. If I tell him I don’t like something and he shuts me down and doesn’t apologize, he’s gone. If he treats me in a way that makes me question things, he’s gone. This is especially true in the very first couple weeks – people are on their best behavior and if his best is making me feel like crap, how will things be when he relaxes more?
2. Never sleep with any guy on the first date. Female empowerment and everything else aside, if I sleep with someone and they don’t call me after the fact, I feel embarrassed and upset. If he likes me and I like him, there will be another opportunity. If I do decide to sleep with someone the first night (hello very hot Portuguese man and stunningly senusous French guy) I automatically take them out of the relationship category. It’s a fling and fun, not a relationship. In all of my years of dating I have found that the vast, vast majority of men who want to have sex the first night are in it for a good time, not forever. I definitely hear from them again, but it’s more because they are interested in more fun, not because they want a relationship. I have seen a lot of women interpret this as the guy actually wants to date them, but usually nothing comes of it. A guy can enjoy spending time with you but not want to take it further, even though you are great, because he is not in the right mindset (same as women). I find that the men who are in the right mindset don’t try to have sex the first night.
3. (For early in the relationship) MIRROR THE MAN. Probably my biggest piece of dating advice. I’ve been in a lot of relationships and the ones where I made the first moves always turn out to be the worst (this does not include relationships where you know the guy is interested but you have made the first move because he was too shy – the first move was his indicated interest). The very best were the relationships where I was pursued. DON’T call him. DON’T text him. If he wants to talk to you, let him open communcation. There are plenty of guys who don’t have you on their mind but if you call/text them/invite them out, will happily do so. This doesn’t mean they actually want a relationship, they just are open to hanging out and having fun, which gets misinterpreted by the woman. Also, pay attention to the time. A guy who goes out with me but only texts me at midnight? No. If he liked me he would find a way to talk to me at literally any other time of the day. He messages me spur of the moment for a date? No. Not respectful of my time, I have other things going on. A guy who wants to date you will have you on his mind. He will call. He will text – at decent times. He will set up a date with you because he wants you to be available. He won’t half-ass it. You won’t ever have to guess how he feels – you will know, because you will see the effort he puts into you. And you will save yourself a lot of grief and keep your dignity by not falling all over youself for someone who isn’t really that into you.
4. Don’t assume exclusivity unless you have an actual conversation about it. Enjoy meeting other people and getting to know each other. Even if you don’t feel like it, schedule other dates, because until you have that conversation you can’t be sure he feels the same way.
5. Don’t wait to have sex before marriage. Literally every single guy I knew who was in a relationship where they were waiting for marriage has been willing to cheat if the opportunity arose or rushed the relationship to marriage and they ended up unhappy or divorced. Of course I don’t know every situation and I’m sure there are cases where the man was happy to wait, but what I saw was that they told their girlfriends they were happy to wait and then as soon as some woman showed them a little attention they would say something to indicate they were interested in something physical. In many cases, where there was abstinence there also turned out to be sexual problems, erectile dysfunction, psychological issues, etc. Also, I can’t state enough the importance of sexual compatibility. It’s a huge part of a marriage. (Note – this is highly dependent on the person, culture, religion, etc)
6. Say goodbye easily and without fear. You are going to meet a lot of people and while they can be lovely and fun, most will not be right for you. Don’t be afraid to end something or accept an ending because it opens you up to meet someone even better. Sadness and disappointment can be intense, but build up your friendships, surround yourself with people who love you, and you will get through it amazingly quickly, far more than if you had hung on to something not worthy of you.
7. Love and respect yourself, and accept nothing less from anyone else you date (or have any sort of relationship with).