(Closed) Women as the primary breadwinner – are you?

posted 4 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
726 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

No, I make half of what he makes.

Post # 4
11760 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I am right now since DH is unemployed but when he is employed he makes 2-3x what I do.  He’s also been in the workforce for 12 years, where I have only been in for 2.


Post # 5
134 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

I was for quite a while while FI advanced in his job and there was never really an issue with it. I think I take about the same stance as you. What’s ours is ours. We don’t keep track of who pays what or who does what as longs as the bills are paid and everything is done

Post # 6
1426 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2014 - Turf Valley

I used to, but now FI makes more.  I am like you in that my career path offers more growth and earning potential, so I am sure that one day I will be the highest earner again.  We also consider our incomes combined as “ours,” so all is well in our world. 🙂

Post # 7
4497 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Yes I am and I have no problem with it. The type of analyst I am has a very high salary pathway so I know that I will probably always be the breadwinner. We could survive just fine on my salary alone, but we need both incomes to regularly travel and do the things we like. FI and I joke that he only works for our ‘fun money’ 🙂

I work with a girl who has the same salary/position as I do, while her husband works downstairs in another position that does not have the same salary/earning potential. Her ILs have such a problem with this scenario and don’t think its acceptable in any capacity that she make more money than her husband. They literally told her that she should request a demotion to go back to her old position (which would make her equal with her husband) so that she wouldn’t make more than him. WTF?!?!

Post # 8
255 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

My fiance brings in double what I do.  He’s been in the same line of work since he’s been 14, though, while I’ve been moving around trying to find what I enjoy!

Post # 9
2573 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

Right now we are roughly equal (I have a higher base, but he gets a bonus that grosses out to be more than my base, but he gets taxed at higher rate on bonus so it evens out), but after this upcoming raise, I will be the breadwinner. SO knew this going in dating me as I am just getting started in my career and will be getting my big $$$ in my 30s.

However, we fit perfectly from the money standpoint, b/c I am a big spender however I bring in more income. He on the other hand is a huge saver. I already told him he can be my own personal accountant/money manager as I don’t practice what I preach. He can give me an allowance of my money and save the rest/pay down student loans/etc.. I’m cool with it – I will just rake it in. 😀

Post # 10
3830 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I earn more than my fiance and that’s fine. He is underpaid for what he does and definitely has way more earning potential than I do and he definitely works harder than I do (I’m in program management and he is in IT management). But we don’t put any emphasis on that. The money is a resource. That’s it. 

Post # 11
5425 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 2012

DH makes nearly double what I make.  Money isnt really an issue as long as neither of us (cough: me) aren’t frivilous with it.

Post # 12
922 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I make about 10% more than FI (however I am probably 50% underpaid for my position and experience, but thankful for the job these days).  We bring home almost identical paychecks (I have a ton taken out for retirement, he has none right now).  We try to split things close to equal as much as possible or they come out in the wash.  We are joining accounts after we get married, which will make things easier.

Post # 13
7119 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

I make less than him with my annual guaranteed wage but with my bonus that I’ll receive (assuming the company continues doing well) we will make about the same. I have greater earning potential with a raise and bonus every year. He only gets an “inflation” raise unless he is promoted so I will probably be earning more in a few years. However, we already view everything as ours.


Also, we could definitely live on one of our salaries but we prefer to both work (for now at least) and maintain our lifestyle.


Post # 14
181 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

I am the breadwinner and will be for the next few years. I’ve already gone to college, graduated, and was lucky enough to find a job in my field. My FI got a late start and is a full-time college student and in the Army Reserves. I work for a company that gives me regular bonuses and raises, so we manage to live comfortably off of my income. FI doesn’t seem to mind the fact that I make the most right now because when he’s done with school, his income should be double mine. 

Post # 15
817 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

@MrsPanda99:  I read that too! I’m always happy to see the balance of power equalized.

Personally, I would love to be making what DH makes. He started out making more than me after college, and after we got married, got a huge raise. He is now making about 5 times what I make, which, to be fair, is basically nothing (I’m a full-time volunteer on a “stipend.” But he would never hold it over my head, and being a traditionalist, I think he prefers to be the breadwinner. 

In an ideal world, my career would skyrocket and I would be where he’s at. In reality, we’re now talking about having me stay home when we have children, because my industry is not great right now.

Post # 16
2832 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Right now I’m making more money. Hopefully that will be changing soon. FI is going to school this summer and will hopefully move up and get a big pay bump.

The topic ‘Women as the primary breadwinner – are you?’ is closed to new replies.

Get our weekly roundup of the best of Weddingbee.
I agree to receive emails from the site. I can withdraw my consent at any time by unsubscribing.

Find Amazing Vendors