1) Do you think the pressure of society can cause women to over obsess about being engaged
Yes, but not just by making women think singleness is a problem, but more importantly by making men and women think it’s the man‘s decision when to get engaged! Why is that, in this day and age?? Getting married is such a huge, life-changing decision, it should be made by both partners equally.
And no, one person asking and the other person saying “yes” or “no” doesn’t count as a joint decision, in my opinion. Is that how you would decide whether to buy a house together, or move to another state, or another country, or have a child?
Guy <down on one knee>: honey, I love you. Will you move to Papua New Guinea with me and allow me to incubate another human inside you, who we will both be responsible for for the next 18 years or more?
Girl: Yes! Yes! Yes!
Girl: No. <Couple then breaks up, or goes through a huge, difficult, awkward phase in their relationship.>
Or, alternatively, if Guy wants to move to Papua New Guinea and they are both relatively adventurous and would probably like to have a child some day (both of which they should figure out by talking to each other), they could spend months discussing every detail as adults, and decide jointly whether and when to move or conceive.
I know which option I prefer.
2) Any suggestions how I can stay calm during this waiting period while people keep bringing it up to me?
If a surprise proposal is important to you, then keep that goal in mind and relish the waiting. Try to convert each question from family/friends to a frission of excitement.
If you’re like me and would prefer to play a part in all important decisions concerning your life (including *when* as well as *whether* to get engaged), talk to him about it, and don’t have him “propose”.
Sorry, OP, I don’t mean this to sound like an attack on you. I am attacking society though. I’m not saying people shouldn’t have surprise proposals if that’s what they want. What I’m saying is, people shouldn’t just assume that’s the only option.