Post # 1
Does anyone else notice this when it comes to Men and Women interacting with kids?
I have found that when women (Grandmothers, Aunts, Myself) are around my toddler son, they will ‘give’ – meaning: affection, hugs, attention, feign interest in what he’s doing, start an activity, basically join him, etc…
When men (Grandfathers, Uncles, his Father) are around him, they will ‘take’ his toys and say ‘it’s my toy’ and make him ask for it back, pretend his lunch is their lunch, his hat is thier hat, tease him and go ‘against’ him, hide his things – basically – shock or sabotage him and almost make him cry (not on purpose, not in a mean way just in a disruptive way) – it’s just so completely different the way the women treat him.
I even mentioned it to my husband and then when he started paying attention he noticed it right away too.
It bugs me! Does anyone else notice this and is this just the natural balance of male and female influences?
Post # 2
My husband does this to his sister’s kids, but not to the point where they get upset. They find it funny and enjoy his attention. I think men feel the need to make kids “tougher” in preparation for the teasing they’ll endure from other kids later on, whereas women try to teach kids to be nice to other people. It’s a good balance, when done properly.
Post # 3
Sunshine09: Um, no. The men in my family do not act this way towards children. The only person I have ever met that will “tease” a child the way you state is my Future Sister-In-Law. She does encourage “brattiness” from her children… she will mock them or laugh at them when they cry.
I do not believe this is across the board with men and women.
Post # 4
Sunshine09: I pretend to take my nephews lunch or toys all the time and tease them because it makes them laugh. The times I’ve seen anyone else pretend to “take” things its to get the kids to laugh and play and it normally hits the mark. I dunno maybe the men in my family are different. They’re just as affectionate and involved with the kids, especially if Legos or sports are involved.
Post # 5
Hmm, this is interesting. I would say that my family tends to do more of the teasing and DH’s more of the joining in, irrespective of gender, to some extent. I typically tease little kids (“Is that my shoe? Oh no, it’s way too tiny! What happened?! Did my foot grow?”). I do think I do that much more low key than, say, my dad and uncle, who do it to the point where the kids get kinda confused! But I dunno, I loved my crazy uncle when I was a little kid.
My husband’s family is much more likely to join in an activity. My 22-year-old Brother-In-Law seriously spent like an hour doing a “cursive test” devised by his 7-year-old cousin, haha. It was adorable. That probably would NOT have happened in my family, lol.
Post # 6
I never noticed this. I see men being friendly to children frequently, and I remember when I was a kid, men would be friendly to me and try to talk to me and act interested in whatever boring little kid thing I was doing. Maybe it’s just your family?
Post # 7
I think this is just your family. I’ve never noticed any difference between how the men and women I know treat children. One of my favorite memories with Fiance is a day at the park when this little boy asked if he would play frisbee with him. Fiance spent at least an hour playing with him, asking about his interests, and basically just making the kid’s day. My brother is really similar, in that he’s always willing to humor little kids and join in on their games. I also have pictures of my dad playing dress up with me and my friends and doing all our nails when we were little. Plenty of men interact with children the way you seem to think only women do.
Post # 8
Sunshine09: my ex-BIL was, and is still, like this with my nephews. It drives us all insane and we feel so bad for the boys. He even goes so far as to purposely embarass his 8 year old in public. However, not all men are like that. I gather that he’s like that because that’s probably how did dad was. My dad and my husband are totally different with the boys. They interact and get them involved in projects and yard work, and always listen to whatever stories they’re telling, or they’ll just chill on the couch and what movies with them. It’s a night and day difference in how my nephews are treated.
Post # 9
I just re-read my post and I didn’t mean they bully him, that’s what it sounded like a little I think. It’s from a place of just ‘messing around’ with him, in a loving way- I think that’s the intention anyway. But it is definitely a different approach between the men and women.