(Closed) Women that wait until kid is older to seek paternity…thoughts?

posted 5 years ago in Home
Post # 3
7977 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2013 - UK

I can’t really understand this way of thinking at all. You sort out that mess at the time, surely?

The only exception would be if a woman has good reasons not for wanting the father in the child’s life, in which case you would tell them about their biological father at 18 and leave the rest up to them. The alternative would be 16, I suppose, if you live in an area in which they gain certain legal rights at 16.

Post # 4
7680 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@texasbee:  My feeling is that if a man goes depositing his sperm inside women instead of into a condom, then he is responsible for the consequences, even 12, 16 or more years later.

I agree that the woman should sort it our earlier, but I don’t see why a man’s responsibility should vanish completely. Yes it’s less (because he’s saved 12-16 years of child support), but that doesn’t get him off the hook. His sperm, his child, his responsibility.

I don’t see how it’s unfair. If you’re a man and you have unprotected sex, that’s a risk you take.

Post # 6
1348 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

Nope. What if the bio father would have wanted a relationship from the start? I don’t think it’s fair for the child’s mother to pick and choose what the father knows depending on what suits her. You either want him to be a part of the child’s life or you don’t. Unless he is dangerous though I actually think it’s really unfair to keep that from him, because if it’s his responsibility to pay for the child then shouldn’t he also, you know, get to actually be a part of the kid’s life? 

Post # 7
5189 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2013

I think it’s fucked up to wait until the kid is older to seek paternity. Any trash bag ho who does that forfeits her right to child support IMO. Can you imagine what does to a child emotionally? If the relationship doesn’t work out between you and the father of your child that’s fine but one deserves to at least know the other exists. It’s bad enough to not know who knocked you up but it’s even worse to put your kid through anguish because of it. 

Post # 7
96 posts
Worker bee

There are two HORRIBLE things a woman can do to a man that are basically just beyond evil in my mind.

1. Fake a pregnancy

2. Hide a child

Of course that are some circumstances (violence) that creat exceptions, but I could not fathom doing that to someone I liked enough to hae unprotected sex with and to my child.

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