Post # 1
SO my husband and I was married in a rush, he was deploying and kinda crashed our wedding plans since he didn’t want to wait. No big deal, we’re planning a renewal in December.
My lovely sister got engaged around thanksgiving, yay for her! She has decided to go with purple as her color, or should i say 4 shades of purple. Which includes the color African Violet, which just happens to be one of my colors.
I was graceful and switched my color scheme to my friends dismay simply because her wedding is before my renewal and I didn’t want to look like a little sister who has to copy her big sister. Anyways things we’re fine til last week when she decided on her flowers. Orchids, just like mine, same color. UGH!
I am so ready to just throw in the hat here. She has not only taken the color scheme and flowers away from me, but also most of the wedding favors I had already chosen. She even almost bought the exact same dress as mine!
Naturally I would just blow it off as she didn’t remember or listen to me as I was giving details of my renewal to her. You would think as Maid/Matron of Honor she would listen, but i have been planning this renewal for almost a year now.
I don’t think she’s trying to out shine me or whatever but I’m very aggravated by this. I just don’t know what to do. My mom thinks i’m being stupid by feeling like this but honestly what I can say? I’ve put plenty of time and labor into this renewal since i never had an actual wedding. and I feel like my hard work is going down the drain. My florist isn’t happy that i want to change the everything and my husband isnt too thrilled with having to change so much either.
I just want to shake some sense into her! i know I still have 10 months til the day and things can be changed but i feel like I shouldnt have to change anything. What do i do bees? Keeps things as they were and let people think i copied my sister or change things up even though it means rearranging things. what to do what to do?!
Post # 3
Have you tried talking to your sister about this? If not, maybe you can just tell her that you are excited that you both are going through wedding planning at the same time, but are worried that your weddings are begining to become too similar. Seeing as you will be having many of the same guests, explain that you want them to remember the weddings as their own, and as reflections of yourselves.
The damage that is done is done, but she may see this and change her mind seeing as purple and orchids were your original idea. If not, I would consider it water under the bridge and just keep an eye out. If she continues to do this, I would approach her and remind her of your talk.
Post # 4
Don’t share any more details with her.
Post # 5
I’ve just decided to keep everything as I had planned it. Most of our family knows what we have been planning so I won’t come across as coping my sister. I did tell her that I felt she was overstepping into my day, she aplogized and promised to make what few changes she can. Her bridesmaid dresses are ordered, but these wont match mine a great deal.
KInda glad I’ve stuck with what I wanted, now i’m not so stressed! So back to wedding planning for me. YAY!
Post # 6
@ticklemepink: Phew! I’m glad you had a talk with her and are keeping your plans. It is all what you originally envisioned, investing creativity and money behind, so embrace it. Maybe she will have a similar this or that, but you can find ways to arrange things differently, accenting your decor and overall look as you like.
Don’t share any further details with her, though. She may not be doing it on purpose — perhaps she is subconsciously taking notes and then later when asked what she wants, your ideas are the ones that surface! — but nevertheless it seems she is prone to copying you. Favors, dress color, flowers, who knows what might be next! Eep! You are nearing your wedding date and so there would be less time to change things, emotions will be running higher, and you don’t want arguments to erupt that could have been easily prevented. Attribute it all to making things more of a surprise. Happy planning!
Post # 7
I agree with other PPs, don’t tell your sister anything else. She is probably not doing this maliciously. But, when you’re planning a wedding and you hear a great idea, suddenly you HAVE to have it! She probably had a certain idea for flowers, then you said you were having orchids and she thought, “Wow, I want orchids too!” So, just don’t tell her anything else and she won’t have a chance to take your ideas.