- 5 years ago
Hi there fellow-waiting-bees and the rest of the hive,
so now I am really writing my first post. I have been reading and browsing the gallery since nearly a year now – in the first place because I am the Maid/Matron of Honor for a really good friend (not really sure when that wedding is going to happen though – got asked at the end of 2011 with the wedding supposed to be in the end of 2012, but now it seems as if it was being postponed till next year). But then the whole getting married and being engaged topic grew on me and now I am also wanting to finally get engaged.
First i got to explain a few things – since there might be lots of cultural differences. I am German, but from the former eastern part, my SO is also German, but from the west (BTW, I am sorry, if there are grammar or spelling mistakes). He is 36, I am 28, so there definitely is an age difference in addition to the subtle cultural differences between us. His parents got divorced when he was a kid, mine still live together. We both never had a relationship that lasted as long as ours now.
My SO and I met in Glasgow a bit more than 4 years ago. I was invited to the birthday party of a former flatmate and really good friend back then when I studied in Scotland.She went on to travel around the world and met a German guy in Australia, who then also got invited to the birthday bash. He on the other hand didn’t want to go alone so he asked a friend to come along as well. That friends’ sister was studying in Scotland at that time, so he said he’d come. Well, at that night, my ex-flatmate just told me: Well girrrl, there are the Germans, go and entertain them. Well, I seem to have done a good job. My SO and I were than constantly chatting on messenger and on the phone and since then we are an item. We managed to get through a bit more than 1 1/2 years of LDR and have now lived together for more than 1 1/2 years.
I am at an age (at least that’s how it feels) were I am longing for even more stability, becoming a family with kids in the future. I am having some health issues, so I want to get kids as soon as possible. Ideally, I would like to be pregnant by the age of 30 or latest 31. And I would want to be married beforehand. I told my SO many times about my rough timeline. He never really responded. He definitely wants kids in the future, but when I asked last night, what kind of timeline he has, he just responded: I don’t know. I don’t have a plan. You are the one that is planning everything all the time. (I have to admit, I am way more structured than he is. I always need a plan…). He is just really laid back, doesn’t get frustrated by anything. Also we got lots of friends that are engaged, got kids (mostly his friends) and who are teasing him and asking him, if he doesn’t want a family on his own. To me, he just says: it will happen the way it happens. We are planning a holiday in 2 months back to the roots (Scotland, yay!) and it would just be the perfect time for him to propose. But I am not really sure he sees what I see (that is, a romantic spot by the seaside with breathtaking views over the highlands, maybe with a lighthouse and probably gales of wind and rain). I am wondering, whether I should just set myself a timeline and wait till the last night or day (since our flight back will be quite late) and if he didn’t propose himself, than I will just do it myself. I know, I read quite a few posts of some bees who talked to their SO how they would think about being asked by the girl, and most wouldn’t want that. However, I think it is not as traditional over here then for example in the US or Britain. I don’t think he would be taken aback by me proposing. So yeah, that’s the big question for me just now. Will he have the wits to propose in Scotland (I am even trying to pass by the first B&B we were together at when we first got together) or will I just be brave enough to do it myself. I think, my time in Scotland made me realise, that I am also quite romantic and want that “SO bending down on one knee to propose”. I am just unsure if I am not expecting a little too much from my very caring, but not too romantic SO. I am confident to say, I will stay with him, even if we didn’t get to marry (I am suspecting that he has a divorce trauma), but a wedding would just be the icing on the cake for me.
Right, I better stop here, otherwise you might get bored. And sorry again if some things are not quite comprehensive because of my grammar. Have a good day or night (I will be off to bed soon, since it is late back here in Germany),