(Closed) Wondering and waiting (a longer read)

posted 5 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
67 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Welcome to the boards!

Sounds like you and your SO have a great relationship.  I think after 4 years it’s pretty reasonable for you to have the time line chat and see where things stand.  Since you have indicated that you’re the planner, maybe you can sit him down and suggest getting engaged by a certain date and see what he thinks?

I would personally not propose to my SO, but I don’t see anything wrong with having a discussion and coming to a mutual agreement about the date.  I used to want a big romantic proposal and then realized it wasn’t really realistic, especially with my Fiance who doesn’t really believe in the whole engagement, wedding etc.. thing.  But it was important to me and he knew that and we had many discussions about it, looked at some rings together, I found a ring I wanted online, we ordered it and that was that.  There wasn’t really a big proposal or anthing.

My only concern would be if you propose and he says no that might be a big blow to your relationship.

Anyways keep us posted and enjoy your vacation ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 4
Member
295 posts
Helper bee

@Aprilsfool:  In Europe/Germany, proposals and engagement aren’t such an important and big event as they are in the US or even in Britain. Though many women want an “American” proposal and the ring, men from most European countries are not/less familiair with the whole get a ring and pop the question culture. Also, living together without getting married is very common in most West-European countries.

Try to explain to your SO how you feel about it and emphasis that an official engagement and proposal is important to you. Give him small hints about the situation and moment you would like him to propose but do not give him the exact specificatations: Men don’t like to be told what to do and what not:) Succes and hope it works for you.

 

By the way: same situation here. My SO doesn’t see any benefit in getting married and the whole proposal/engagement thingFrown

Post # 5
Member
67 posts
Worker bee

@tisposeroperche:  I agree small hints is a great start esp if German culture doesn’t place such a big emphasis on the things you’d like the relationship to evolve to. 

 

OP I love your willingness to love him no matter what even if you aren’t married. I do hope it happens for you though ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 7
Member
295 posts
Helper bee

@Aprilsfool:  No tax benefits here: living together is the same as being married so that doesn’t help. We are close to our 2nd anniversary so have my hopes up he will propose. The actual wedding can wait but I’m fed up with the “girlfriend” status at the moment.

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