(Closed) Wondering if anyone can relate?

posted 10 years ago in Money
Post # 3
535 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

I have to say, I think your Fiance is right on with this one.  I can understand your insecurity, but, I doubt anyone is really thinking poorly of you or your relationship.  Good for you and the turn around your life has taken!  It sounds like your Fiance is a wonderful guy!

Post # 4
226 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I haven’t experienced anything like that, but I have to say… it sounds like you deserve every bit of it. Don’t doubt that you do.

And as for what people think, I’m of the opinion that they can kiss your wedding dress covered bum 🙂

Post # 5
5920 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: December 2010

You deserve it!

Post # 6
3563 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I would try not to worry too much about what other people think, and focus on the fact that you have a wondeful Fiance who is treating you with love and respect, which is what you deserve. If you’re happy and secure in your relationship, then enjoy the presents! 🙂

Post # 7
1981 posts
Buzzing bee

I think it’s great that he treats you like that! I think that we all have haters, so why worry about what they think–you deserve someone who truly loves and appreciates you.

Post # 8
1110 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2009

You deserve it and im sure no one thinks bad of it. Enjoy it. Live happy! Its your time!

Post # 9
14181 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

Don’t worry about what everyone ELSE thinks.

If it’s affordable, that’s one thing. But if it’s taking away from things you want in the future–a bigger house, a savings nest for another baby, the wedding, etc, then I’d be concerned.

While gifts are nice (don’t get me wrong), very lavish gifts on a modest salary (or even above average) would make me uncomfortable because money can always be spent in more ‘practical’ ways. I just read an article about a ‘serial spender’ though and that’s what’s sticking in my head. the husband lavished things on his wife and she assumed he made so much money it was no big deal. But really, he was overcompensating by buying such lavish gifts, his salary didn’t have THAT much wiggle room. Things for the home are great, though! But if the personal gifts make you uncomfortable, let him know to keep it to special occassions and that he doesn’t have to spend money on you….a nice dinner together would mean a lot, you know, that kind of stuff.

Post # 10
2856 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

Please don’t worry about what others say or think. I personally think you deserve it. Sometimes when you are treated like dirt for so long, there is something inside that is appreciative of the nice things someone else does or even buys but it can make you feel uncomfy. You probably have a feeling like you aren’t worth this attention but you are.

I am thankful I haven’t gone through something like this but my Mother-In-Law did. Her marriage to my Father-In-Law was horrendous. They were dirt poor because of him and there were so many issues also because of him (trying to spare you the details). Anyway, when she met her second husband it was a similar situation as yours. He treats her like a queen and I am sure it was something she had to get used to. She suffered for so long that is was strange when someone else was taking care of her.


Post # 12
248 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

Definitely don’t worry what others think.  But this could be a great spur for the two of you to sit down and hash out your financial plans before you get married.  Like, how much of your income are you saving, what are you saving for, how do you want to split bills, where do you see your income going in the future, all that.  I know that it was very comforting for me to know that when my fiance bought a motorcycle, he has a very aggressive savings plan and the bike didn’t come out of that money.  Good luck!

Post # 13
223 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

It’s always cheering to read about good things happening to good people.  While I think ejs has a point about making sure that his beautiful gifts are actually affordable, I also want you to enjoy it with a smile!!

Post # 15
414 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

it makes me happy to hear you have a nice guy who treat you so well.  based on what you mentioned, you deserve a little pampering! 

yes, like everyone else mentioned, make sure he’s not spending beyond his means.  make sure he’s somewhat saving, not just BUYING a bunch of stuff you dnot truly need.

good luck and wish you all the best~

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