(Closed) Wondering–Need some support/advice today

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
960 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@honeybeeee3130:  Sorry things are stressing but breathe and know you asked in the right place! My little suggestions:

1) I’m curious what discussions its been, if they want to have a bunch of their family around that weekend and do other things this shouldn’t impact the wedding, simply let them know that XYZ are invited to wedding and the wedding is on X day and to keep their other plans to the day before or day after. — With my Fiance his famiyl is from Lebananon or the USA or Australia and they will have to be visiting for more than just the wedding. Its just been clear that I don’t care what they do these other days, but for the rehersal and the wedding this is whats happening, period. No one else. If they disapoint me and leave early to be with their family, so be it, I don’t care at this point, I care only that my Fiance would be upset. (I’ve been engaged over a year now so I’m at a different point than you in terms of “screw it”)

2) Tell the Aunt that you’re thrilled she’s excited for the wedding and you promise to share these details with her as soon as you can, but at the moment its not something you’ve been working on as you’re busy. Make sure she feels heard and thanked (even if you don’t want to thank her) and it may help her ease off.

3) He’s 17 now, your wedding is near the end of the year and even then, if he comes no one would really ask why he was allowed and their kid wasn’t as he’s near 18, you can even say he is 18 and thus is “adult” I would find out (or have your mom find out) the risk of an epileptic episode and let them know you have considered lighting for the wedding and you do not want to risk their son. If you frame the concern of an episode in a way of their son’s safety, they’re more likely to view it favorably than as an attack or insult. Every episode can diminish brain cells so they would not intentionally put their son at risk.

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