- 5 years ago
- Wedding: October 2013
I’m struggling with some wedding planning things today and need some advice/support. My fiance and I are stressed about things and wedding planning is slowly becoming less and less joyful. To be honest, we’ve discussed eloping or having s scaled back church wedding with our immediate family, but we’ve already spent ~$4500 on deposits & stuff. However, after the last few days, being out that cash almost seems like a bargain for our sanity at this point. The only thing holding us back is that we really do want to have a wedding and take vows in front of the ones we love most. However…some of those dear loved ones are causing grief.
1) My fiance’s mom is turning our wedding into a family reunion for her side of the family. It feels like it’s not even our wedding anymore. There’s so much focus and discussion about what THEY are going to be doing and THEIR plans for the weekend.
2) My fiance’s aunt is putting all kinds of crazy pressure on us, asking too many questions. She asked outright if she was going to be invited to the rehearsal dinner. She asks if we’ve registered yet, and if so where, and when our showers are going to be. Yes, I know these are legitimate questions, but they are not even questions our parents are asking us about because they know we are both working 2 jobs and we’re working on pulling things together and will let people know when the time is right! It’s crazy. I’m feeling more pressure and crazy expectations from his aunt than my own mother. Which leads me to #3…
3) My mom stopped by my house last night and we were casually discussing wedding plans and upcoming to-dos. She broached the subject of inviting a couple (very close with our family) and their adult daughter and 17 year old son who has special needs. My fiance and I have already maintained a strict policy against no children at the reception (wedding is ok), however, if I want this couple to attend, they have to bring their teenaged son because he can’t care for himself. He has severe epilepsy. I’m worried that with the strain of travel (they are out of towners) and being in unfamiliar surroundings may trigger a seizure either at the wedding or reception if they were to bring him. (Sounds horrible and I feel bad for even thinking that way.) If they do bring him, then how do we explain to all the other families that traveled and couldn’t bring them to the reception? It feels like we’re screwed either way and we can’t make anyone happy. My fiance really doesn’t want their teen son to come to the reception, in case he does fall out and someone calls the paramedics/fire dept—because my ex is an EMT/firefighter!!!
I’m so stinkin’ sad about everything!