(Closed) Woohoo! Picking a ring after 10 years! But fiancé hates the ring I want…

posted 5 years ago in Rings
  • poll: What would you do?

    Pick the ring you love

    Compromise with fiancé on style

  • Post # 16
    253 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: August 2016

    When shopping for wedding bands, my Fiance and I were not in total agreement about my choice of band. My jeweler said something that I definitely think applies to your situation…. she said that the person wearing the ring needs to LOVE it, but the other person only needs to LIKE it.

    Hopefully you can find something that you absolutely love and that your Fiance likes. Although, personally, I think if it’s going to be on your hand every day for rest of your life you should get final say.

    Good luck and Congratulations! 

    Post # 17
    2120 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2015

    You’re the one who has to wear it every day so you should 3000% love love love it. 

    Post # 18
    1465 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: March 2018

    Maybe you can include a design factor he likes along with your preferred halo,or maybe make the halo his birthstone color or something. There are ways of redesigning a ring that you love and he loves. tweaking could be done later.totally get that you want him to like it,I’ve been there too (currently in progress) but my first ring I had absolutely no say. Not that I didn’t love it,just wasn’t my style. Good luck and let us know what you choose! 🙂 

    Post # 19
    2414 posts
    Buzzing bee

    I’m typically VERY pro groom when it comes to ring picking, but my personal opinion is that the stone looks MUCH better in YOUR choice.

    Post # 20
    1836 posts
    Buzzing bee

    You are wearing it — get what you want. 

    Post # 21
    385 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: February 2015

    View original reply
    p1ally:  I don’t think picking your own ring is tacky. It seems most of the bees here pick their own rings. DH picked his favorites, and I picked from those and was very happy.

    Post # 22
    9575 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2015

    You’re the one who’s wearing it! Maybe skip the halo then to compromise but the 2nd link you posted… Talk about distracting! That bezel sapphire is sticking out like a barnacle! 

    Post # 23
    1063 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: South Lodge. 2nd of Dec 2017

    Ohhh halo.  Me I would, oh I did xxx remind him you will be wearing it every day for the rest of your life.  Let us know what you decide.

    Post # 24
    1667 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: April 2018 - Our Backyard

    I used to agree with your fiancé about halos detracting from the center stone-until I saw a well made halo. So, maybe you all need to go to a jewelry store together and try things on. Maybe he will see not all halos are created equally. Good luck 

    Post # 25
    460 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2006

    If you pick the ring you love he will see you looking at it and admiring it and showing it off. He will be proud he got you something you love and feel proud of. It will be much easier for him to come to like what you love than for you to like what he likes because you’re gonna be wearing it and probably feeling a little resentful about it for a while. I’d hate to get my husband a gift that I felt he needed to love because I loved it on him, only to see him avoid it or not feel excited about it. Id much rather see him excited and happy to wear something I got him even if I’m not crazy about it. 

    Post # 27
    52 posts
    Worker bee

    To me, it’s easy. YOU have to wear the ring, not him. Pick what YOU love. I’m pretty sure after a while he’ll learn to like it anyways.

    Post # 29
    205 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: December 2008

    It all depends on what is personally important to you. For me, I’m the kind of person that it was reallllly important to me that he like my ring too (wedding band). So we picked together. I feel like I will appreciate and love and want so many different rings…that “the one” will never exist. I think it’s more sentimental because my husband loves it as well and that we picked it together. 


    He picked my engagement ring on his own years ago. I liked it but didn’t love it. It was gorgeous, I just thought it wasn’t my style or what I would have picked. But honestly that changes (your style and what you would pick) so many times through the years! At least for me. My engagement ring was stolen, years ago, and in its absence I grew to looove it. I would give anything to get that ring back. At first it wasn’t like that. I thought ok now I want to pick my own ring, I was so indesicive though, it took years and I gave up trying for a long time. But thinking back to all the rings “I picked” on my own throughout those years, trunking I loved them, no I think they’re hideous and am so glad I didn’t end up with any of them lol. Which was another reason it was so important when picking a new ring that my husband loved it as much as I. There were plenty of other rings that I loved and he didn’t. It was more important to me that we both loved it. 


    I know that was a bit jumbled. I added more text to the middle of my paragraph, so it doesn’t make complete sense, but I think you can get it. Bear with me. 😁

    Post # 30
    1599 posts
    Bumble bee

    View original reply
    p1ally:  Sadly you can’t have it both ways since you have such differing tastes. Unless you look at the compromises that other bees are giving as an option. 

    Personally if I was in your position I would get what I wanted because it would be me wearing it. Also he asked you to pick, he obviously wants you to have what you want. What’s the point in asking you if you can’t have what you want? He could have just done that by getting you the ring already and proposing.

    The topic ‘Woohoo! Picking a ring after 10 years! But fiancé hates the ring I want…’ is closed to new replies.

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