Post # 1
We are not a formal after party, but a number of people are coming in from out of town and I think would like to meet at a bar after. Who normally picks up the tab for an informal bar gathering like this? We are paying for a lot of our own wedding, including a full open bar for 6 hours, and I am not sure I can take on the additional expense of an after party too, but dont want to suggest something if its against etiquette. I have heard that you shouldnt make guests pay for anything at a wedding!
Post # 2
If it’s not a formal, scheduled event, I don’t think you’re obligated to pick up the tab. If you can afford it, you could do a consumption bar (until you hit a certain dollar amount) which would convert to a cash bar, but honestly, if I were to go to an after party, I would 100% expect the drinks to be covered. It would be a nice surprise, but I also wouldn’t be surprised if I had a tab at the end of the night.
ETA: I firmly believe that a guest shouldn’t pay for a single thing at the wedding, but an after party isn’t the wedding.
Post # 3
I don’t think you should have to pay for everyone’s bar tab after having an open bar for 6 hours. I think if you keep it casual and just mention “Hey we’re going to hang out at the bar after the wedding. Everyone is welcome to come!” people would get the gist. I know I personally would never assume that someone was picking up the tab at an after party, especially after such a generous reception.
Post # 4
After my sisters wedding, we all went to a bar walking distance from the venue (it was planned a ahead of time) everyone paid for their own drinks and even hosted the couple. Everyone was buying them shots and drinks. It was a good time. So no. I don’t think you need to host it at all!
Post # 5
- Wedding: April 2017 - City, State
Fiance and I are going to a bar after the wedding and I put on the website that people can come if they feel like it. The bar is attached to the hotel where we have our room block, so I just wanted people to know if they felt like coming down from their rooms, we’d be there. I don’t think you are required to host them as it isn’t part of the wedding at that point.
Post # 6
Etiquette doesn’t recognize the “after party.” Couples traditionally looked forward to being alone after the reception and often left before their guests did. But in general, if you are inviting someone to something, and it costs money, you pay.
There have been one or two times when we were “invited” to a brunch and to say goodbye to the couple, and it turned out to be the hotel breakfast on our own dime. That is inappropriate.
Suggesting or asking people to join you after the reception is still IMO an invitation. “We’re going to hang out at the hotel bar” is not.
In my own experience after parties are either hosted or they are not done.