Post # 1
So heres my problem, my fiance and I cant agree on the wording he wants one thing and I want the other. I show you the 2 and I would like your opinion on them.
Mr. and Mrs. Brides Parents
request the honour of your presence
at the marriage of their daughter
Together with their parents
request the honour of your presence
at the their marriage
Option 1 is my choice, I’ve just always dreamed of it being that way and I’ve always seen invitations this way. I believe that since my parents are giving me to join another family and take another last name that it should be them requesting. I understand that normally its whos ever is paying for the wedding, but both parents are and I dont like the ones with all the names on it. He just likes it the other way, I dont know why and I don’t really want to fight over it I would just really like option 1. Any suggestions on how to convince him to see my side?
Post # 3
Sorry, no suggestions to get him to see your side, as I think option 2 is more appropriate. If I were your Future In-Laws, I’d be kind of miffed if I was paying for half the wedding and saw Option 1 on the invitation. If you really want Option 1, I say don’t accept any $$ from your Future In-Laws for the wedding and you can do the wording however you want!
*ETA, in the interest of full disclosure, ours were worded like option 2 and my parents contributed about 50%, we paid about 45% ourselves and about 5% were DH’s parents. But it was in my family’s hometown and his family all had to fly in.
Post # 4
agreed with pp, if you are accepting one penny from your inlaws they need to be mentioned even if it is just ‘together with thier parents’
The other invite is only if your parents are paying for everything
Post # 5
#2 looks as though you (bride and groom) are both paying for most with just a contribution from the parents.
If both parents are paying, it should be
Mr and Mrs Smith
Mr and Mrs Jones
…_____________….marriage of their children
Post # 6
@CoffeeandCream: Ah yes, I forgot about this option. We have some divorced parents, so that option would have gotten way too wordy for us, but otherwise a good option!
Post # 7
@mrskrumpet: If both sets of parents are contributing, they should both be mentioned. The second sounds like the two of you are paying for the majority of it. We did:
Mr. and Mrs. Bride’s parents and
Mr. and Mrs. Groom’s parents
request the honor of your presence
at the marriage of their children
My parents are paying for the majority with Fiance and I chipping in as much as we can, and FI’s parents made a small contribution.
Post # 8
It still can be done, even with divorced families.
My son is getting married and we are helping, we are included on the invites.
Post # 9
Also, I would have your Fiance talk to them no matter what before anything is printed.
People can be weird about money. I have known of people who paid, and did NOT want their names listed.
Post # 10
@CoffeeandCream: Yes, but given that my father contributed all of the money and my mother contributed almost “nothing” (she says facetiously) but time, we did not feel comfortable doing anything other than “Together with their parents”. Tradition says we should have left my mother off and only included only my father, stepmother and FI’s parents, but I would have felt like a pretty crappy daughter if we did that. Sorry for the testy reply, but I felt just a tiny bit judged there.
Post # 11
I personally like option 2. How do your parents (yours & FI’s) feel about the wording? Do they have opinions?