(Closed) wording for invite to a convalidation?

posted 6 years ago in Catholic
Post # 4
Member
7208 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2015

@bostongirl27:  Oh wow. So happy you posted this because this is what we’re planning to do as well!

I think “blessing” is fine. Only super hard-core Catholics are going to know the word “convalidation” and they will understand that “blessing” means the same thing.

Post # 6
Member
3774 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@MexiPino:  +1 about only Catholics knowing what that means.

The whole reason I opened this post was to find out what in the world “convalidation” is! I think you’re good with just using the word “blessing”

Post # 8
Member
1326 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

Interesting. I have never heard of anyone doing this to avoid being married in the church. Convalidation is something that is typically done after lengthy Catholic annulments are completed or after a legally married couple decides to choose a Catholic marriage.

Why are you doing this, if you don’t mind me asking?

 

Post # 10
Member
7208 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2015

@bostongirl27:  Seriously! My SO is lapsed Catholic/almost agnostic. I’ve been super involved in my parish until the past couple years. I feel VERY strongly that civil marriage and sacramental marriage are two different things, so this totally makes sense for me. Thankfully, Dad is a thinking man of faith and is totally down for this idea,too. πŸ™‚ Since I used to be in the choir/band for the youth mass, I’m thinking of just doing it during that mass Sunday evening. Gives us enough time to sleep in, maybe do a little present opening in the afternoon if people insist and then Mass and call it an early night. 

Definitely let me know how it goes! I’m still 1year+ out from mine!

Post # 11
Member
1326 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

Well, it is what’s done in a lot of European countries by law (civil ceremony then religious ceremony). So there’s that

Post # 12
Member
2212 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@bostongirl27:  Just curious.  I’m protestant, (ELCA Lutheran) and when we marry, we will be married in the church, and my ceremony will be recognized by the church as the sacrament of holy matrimony.

Can you explain how convalidation makes you more officially married in the eyes of the Catholic church than the ceremony you’ll be having the day before?  My marriage will be be valid in the eyes of the church and the eyes of God with just one ceremony…

My grandparents were hardcore Catholic and my dad and aunt/uncles were all raised Catholic. I wonder why I’ve never heard of this before!

P.S. In response to your OP – I agree with PPs that using “blessing” on the invite would be good, especially if you have a lot of non-Catholics attending!  πŸ™‚

Post # 13
Member
1326 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@DomesticDiva:  A Catholic marriage is much different commitment than a civil marriage. It’s a sacrament rather than a legal contract, though the Catholic marriage is recognized as the civil marriage contract under the law in the U.S. The Catholic Church doesn’t recognize civil marriage, though the state recognizes a Catholic marriage. Does that make sense?

The Catholic Church requires Catholics to be married in the church, as in physically inside (though I think it’s becoming more common to be married on church property, gardens, etc.). If someone chooses to get married outside of the church, as this couple is, the Catholic Church does not recognize the marriage. There are plenty of cases where Catholic couples choose to get married outside of the Church. These couples have the option of having a convalidation ceremony, which is the Catholic sacrament of marriage. It’s not accurate to describe it as a “blessing”. Catholic marriage is a very specific set of promises made to each other.

There was a couple at our engagement encounter that had been legally married for 15 years and had three kids. They were seeking convalidation. It was very sweet.

Post # 14
Member
2212 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@solidarity:  Ah.  Yes, of course I understand the difference between a civil and religious ceremony.  I’m protestant, but that’s still Christian.  πŸ™‚

And thanks for explaining.  If I have it right, basically, you’re not physically getting married inside a church on your wedding day itself, so to make it official in the Catholic church’s eyes, you’re having another ceremony physically in the church the next day.

Do I have it right?

Post # 15
Member
1326 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@DomesticDiva:  Not my thread, but yes, physically inside the church. It’s also not the same set of vows as a civil or protestant ceremony. The main differences are being there of your own free will, life long marriage, and openness to children raised Catholic. Aside from the raising kids Catholic part, some denominations are almost the same, but civil marriage is not. You can say anything as long as you have a marriage license and the ceremony is performed by a valid officiant under the law (varies by region). 

http://www.catholicweddinghelp.com/topics/catholic-wedding-vows.htm

 

Post # 16
Member
7977 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2013 - UK

Firstly, OP, your wording sounds great to me. Fiance and I were debating whether or not to do this to begin with, because we were having problems with venues, disabled access, getting a marriage license etc. A convalidation on the day after our legal wedding would have been our plan B! Fortunately we don’t have to do that now, however.

I should also say that, in the UK, your religious wedding is NOT automatically recognised by the state, any more than the church is obligated to recognise your legal marriage. There is a difficult relationship between the two. In fact, we had a bit of bother getting the two to line up together, as it were, but that’s OK now.

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