Post # 16
No. Don’t not write that. How rude.
Just do what you were going to do in terms of the invites and if someone RSVPs for their uninvited child, just call them say the invite was only for the adults. No explanation needed.
Post # 17
Totally disagree with PP’s that you need an all or nothing approach, that’s nonsense. You invite people based on your relationship with them, it is that simple. For example, I had 3 of my bridesmaids parents in attendance as I have known them since childhood and am close to them; but we didn’t invite my MOH’s parents or H’s friends parents as we barely know them. The exact same applies to children. I would have found it insane if one of our guests had taken offence at our cousins, who we are close to, being invited, and their children, who we never see, not.
However, the way you’ve worded it is… Not good. It is ambiguous, and potentially insulting.
All you do is a) decide which children you want there and b) address your invitations to those invited, including or excluding children’s names as appropriate. If you receive an RSVP and someone has included their uninvited child, simply call, apologise for any ‘misunderstanding’ and explain that the invitation is for x and y only and that you hope they understand, and hope to see them there.
Post # 18
You can invite whoever you want, but you need to be prepared to handle the delicate conversations that may be needed if someone gets the RSVP wrong (face it, not everyone knows the secret code of the inner envelope). Not hide behind a website to do it for you.
Post # 19
We had to deal with confusion due to limiting seats. We had a smaller wedding (about 75 people) and despite knowing that, a lot of people thought they were allowed a date. We had to put a boundry on only inviting engaged couples/long term/spouses, just because of our budget. We had to have an uncomfortable conversation with an uncle and I wish I had put that there were a certain number of seats for that person. That might save you some headaches! And then if you notice they’ve RSVPed for more seats than they have been given, THEN you can have that uncomfortable conversation.
Post # 20
I wouldn’t word it like that. I think people will understand that the people named on the invite are the ones invited, but when you get your RSVPs you’ll see who didn’t get it and can follow up if need be.