(Closed) WORDING help-Money instead of gifts-for website

posted 8 years ago in Gifts and Registries
  • poll: When you "asked" for money, what percentage of your guests gave you money?

    75%-100%

    around 50%

    25%-45%

    less than 25%

  • Post # 17
    Member
    1347 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    Skip the registry and post nothing about gifts. Let the word spread you all want cash to help you build your future together. I wouldn’t wantto hear that you plan to use the money for student loans. Don’t turn your wedding into a fundraiser.

    Post # 18
    Member
    5486 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: July 2012

    @Ellicott:  LMAO!!! I seriously cannot stop laughing!!

    Post # 19
    Member
    21 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    It’s not up to your wedding guests to help you pay off your student loans – there is no way to word this politely.

     

    We used this wording and were given moneytary gifts as well as “boxed” ones:

    Your presence at our wedding is the greatest gift of all. However, if you wish to honour us with a gift and need some ideas, we have registered a list with xxx.

     

    Post # 20
    Member
    8375 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: May 2009

    I agree with prior posters.  It will not go over well at all with many of your guests if you ask for cash to pay down your student loans — or for any other reason, however practical or admirable your goal may be.

    Post # 21
    Member
    8486 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2012

    Honestly if I saw a comment like that I’d be even more likely to bring a gift with no gift receipt. lol.

    Don’t say anything about money. I have DH’s loans to pay off without thinking about my money going towards someone else’s.

    Post # 22
    Member
    1517 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2015

    @MrsPanda99:  I don’t know how it is elsewhere, but in the US it’s almost inevitable to have that kind of student loan debt. Especially being in the miltary, it would be impractical for many people to wait several years to get married because of that kind of debt. OP did not say they were relying on this money to pay that debt, but wanted to convey to guests that the money was going towards something practical/important.

    Post # 23
    Member
    7813 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper

    @MabelleBliss:  Either way, my money doesn’t go towards someone else’s debt. I’m not the only person who found this offputting. If I choose to give a gift, I choose what to give. I don’t get solicited to pay off debts like a wedding is some kind of fundraiser. That’s just me. Perhaps other people find it perfectly acceptable.

    Post # 24
    Member
    957 posts
    Busy bee

    @veganmelmel:  I found your wording tactful, however, this is offensive to so many people. I think if most of your invitees are your peers they might find this presumptuous.  I would probably rank this with honeymoon registries: ok for some, offensive to others. 

    Post # 25
    Member
    412 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2015

    There’s a phrase that keeps coming to mind when people worry this much about gifts: “You get what you get and you don’t get upset.”

     

    Just dont register. No need for wording; honestly, I don’t want to fund my friends/family’s education at their wedding. Use it for whatever, but keep it private.

     

    Post # 26
    Member
    5360 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: October 2015

    @veganmelmel:  I would suggest simply not registering and when asked saying “We have to move around so much due to being in the military that we simply aren’t ready to accumulate a lot of life-long things now”. People will get that you want cash. 

    If you feel you need to put it on the website, I would use some form of what I’ve already posted. Saying that the money is to pay off debt is a little crass. People like to think of wedding gifts as setting you up for your new life, not paying for the life you’ve already had.

    Post # 29
    Member
    672 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2015

    @veganmelmel:  Good call. If I saw that someone was asking help for debt repayment, this would be my thought process: 1. why are you having a wedding when you can’t afford it, 2. I have my own student debt I’m repaying.

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