(Closed) Wording No uploading certain pics on Facebook for my wedding on invite?

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 4
Member
4683 posts
Honey bee

I think word of mouth is the best way to approach this. Spread it around that your FH’s family is private and, at the wedding, has asked that no pictures of them are posted on FB or IG. I just really don’t think it belongs on the invite. 

Post # 5
Member
2499 posts
Buzzing bee

@echolove:  Definitely don’t write about it on your actual invites. I’d put it on a reception card or wedding website.

“Due to the nature of their livelihoods, the groom and his family request that no guest pictures of them are uploaded to any social media site. We sincerely thank you for your cooperation and understanding.”

ETA: I think word of mouth is best. Also, will it be clear to all of your guests who is related to FI (in other words, who is off limits)?

Post # 6
Member
9145 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

@echolove:  Not appropriate for putitng on the invitation itself.  Look around for signs to put out at the ceremon/reception and/or an additional card to put in the invitation envelope with your request.  However, at the end of the day people are going to want to take pictures of you, your groom, and the bridal party and there really isn’t much you can do about it other than lock down your Facebook so they can’t tag you in photos without your permission.  It won’t keep them from uploading them to FB on their timeline though.

Post # 8
Member
1854 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@echolove:  I’m not sure you can tell people what they can and cannot post, but you could always put up a sign like this:

Post # 10
Member
1549 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Honestly, you can’t tell people where they can and can’t post pictures. I say mention it to a few people and ask them to spread the word, but theres no way you can actually control what they do. 

Post # 11
Member
11760 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I don’t think you can dictate what pictures people take or what they do with them. 

If you’re that concerned, make your tagged pictures hidden so no one can see them unless you want them to. 

If your FI’s family members have lives that cannot be on social media, then they need to behave in a way that if a photo of them were to be put on it, they would not be caught doing anything inappropriate.  

I can’t imagine what they would possibly do at a wedding that would be deemed inappropriate if a picture were snapped of it.

Or,  have a completely unplugged wedding and ask that no pictures be taken.

Post # 12
Member
389 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I honestly have never met anyone or heard of anyone who had a job that prohibited them from having pictures taken and then posted on social media. I would be wondering what their jobs could possibly be that they can’t have pictures taken. It’s not like they will be doing anything incriminating (hopefully).

I would just casually ask the specific friends and family members who do upload to facebook not to upload any pictures. You can always ask them to remove the pictures if they do post them. It’s not like FI’s family will be tagged or anything if they don’t have accounts.

Post # 13
Member
3042 posts
Sugar bee

this is tricky. is everyone going to know exactly who is in the groom’s family? what if someone is in the background. i think having a offline wedding is a better option, using the sign posted above.

Post # 14
Member
1729 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Just how secretive does this side of the family need to be? Like, if 2 of your girlfriends take a selfie and FIL happens to be in the background…is that ok? If not, maybe you have a “coat check” for cameras and a sign saying not to use smart phones to post either.

I know someone who does undercover work who’s in the same positiong, but I’m not sure of the severity of the nature of their work.

 

Post # 16
Member
3627 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

We didn’t put this on our invite, but it is on the wedding website. We put up the cute little graphic about it being an unplugged wedding and added the following blurb:

“We want you to be able to really enjoy our wedding day, feeling truly present and in the moment with us. We’ve hired an amazing wedding photographer named [photographer name] who, along with his/her assistant photographer, will be capturing the way the wedding looks — and we’re inviting each of you to sit back, relax, and just enjoy how the wedding feels. We’re respectfully asking that everyone consider leaving all cameras and cell phones off and refraining from posting to social media sites, such as Facebook and Twitter. Of course, we will happy to share our wedding photos with you afterward!”

If you like, you can also have the officiant make a quick, sweet announcement before the ceremony and/or add it to the program. We only had a few make it onto FB (of the two of us, specifically) and we nicely told them to please take it down.

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