Post # 1
I am trying to put together my ceremony programs and am struggling with how to list the parents.My parents are divorced and my dad remarried. I want to list all three on the programs but my mom and step-mom have the same name. As my step-mom took my Dad’s last name I have two "moms" with the exact same name, it looks almost like a mistake when they are listed together.
One approach is to list them as:
Father & Stepmother of the Bride: John & Jane DoeMother of the Bride: Jane DoeParents of the Groom: Dad & Mom LastName
If I go this route, who do I list first – my father/stepmom or my mom? Any other ideas?
Post # 3
I didn’t put any female first names, I just put Mr. and Mrs. John Doe. Even for my FH’s widowed stepgrandmother, we put Mrs. John Doe. So if you left off your stepmom’s name, it’d be less confusing maybe? That’s an amusing problem to have, hope you figure it out! ^_^
Post # 4
I agree with Liz, I don’t think the mother’s name is usually listed, but if that is the way you want to do it, add middle names or the middle name initial.
Post # 5
The old-fashioned etiquette for this is that divorced women are listed as Mrs. Jane Doe, while a married couple would be listed on another line as Mr. and Mrs. John Doe. Would that work for you?
Post # 6
I like the initials idea. Then it’s clear you are talking about two different people to people who may not be aware of the situation.
Post # 7
I would probably do what BW siggested above –
Mr. and Mrs. John Doe and Ms. Jane Doe request the honor etc, etc
That way your stepmothers first name isn’t even listed and it might make it less confusing.
Post # 8
I am a total perfectinist with proper etiquette, now a days that has faded… I agree with the advise of BW4606: The old-fashioned etiquette for this is that divorced women are listed as Mrs. Jane Doe, while a married couple would be listed on another line as Mr. and Mrs. John Doe.
Post # 9
I find Mrs. The Dude extremely offensive. I’ve never known anyone to be offended by getting called their full, real name. I’d list your mom of over your dad and step-mom b/c it might be hurtful to her to appear on the list below your step mom, even if they are great friends.
Post # 10
@ BW4606: My mother would rage with all the fire she could muster if she were listed per the “rules” as MRS. K Crayfish because she is divorced from my father. She wouldn’t care if it is “proper” – she isn’t associated with marriage to him now that she is divorced, and would be highly offended. If you must, put middle initials. Otherwise, I promise – the only people who will care or notice is them. You could always ASK THEM how they want to be referred to, or if it bothers them if the names appear the same.
Post # 11
I agree with Melini in listing your mother, before the father and stepmom… I guess I wasn’t thinking about the order of doing this… =)
Post # 12
i would list your mother first as well.
I would do it like this I am going to
Parens of the Bride:
Mrs. Jane A. Doe
Mr. John Doe Mrs. Jane B Doe.
Parents of the groom.
Mr GroomsDad Mrs. Grooms Mom
Ibet alot of people wont notice or already know.