(Closed) Wording programs when Mom & Step-mom have same name

posted 9 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
456 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

I didn’t put any female first names, I just put Mr. and Mrs. John Doe. Even for my FH’s widowed stepgrandmother, we put Mrs. John Doe. So if you left off your stepmom’s name, it’d be less confusing maybe? That’s an amusing problem to have, hope you figure it out! ^_^

Post # 4
Member
754 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2008

I agree with Liz, I don’t think the mother’s name is usually listed, but if that is the way you want to do it, add middle names or the middle name initial.

Post # 5
Member
82 posts
Worker bee

The old-fashioned etiquette for this is that divorced women are listed as Mrs. Jane Doe, while a married couple would be listed on another line as Mr. and Mrs. John Doe.  Would that work for you?

Post # 6
Member
237 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2009

I like the initials idea. Then it’s clear you are talking about two different people to people who may not be aware of the situation.

Post # 7
Member
469 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2008

I would probably do what BW siggested above –

Mr. and Mrs. John Doe and Ms. Jane Doe request the honor etc, etc

That way your stepmothers first name isn’t even listed and it might make it less confusing.

Post # 8
Member
19 posts
Newbee

I am a total perfectinist with proper etiquette, now a days that has faded… I agree with the advise of BW4606: The old-fashioned etiquette for this is that divorced women are listed as Mrs. Jane Doe, while a married couple would be listed on another line as Mr. and Mrs. John Doe.

mv118

Post # 9
Member
1077 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

I find Mrs. The Dude extremely offensive.  I’ve never known anyone to be offended by getting called their full, real name.  I’d list your mom of over your dad and step-mom b/c it might be hurtful to her to appear on the list below your step mom, even if they are great friends.

Post # 10
Member
10366 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

@ BW4606: My mother would rage with all the fire she could muster if she were listed per the “rules” as MRS. K Crayfish because she is divorced from my father. She wouldn’t care if it is “proper” – she isn’t associated with marriage to him now that she is divorced, and would be highly offended. If you must, put middle initials. Otherwise, I promise – the only people who will care or notice is them. You could always ASK THEM how they want to be referred to, or if it bothers them if the names appear the same.

Post # 11
Member
19 posts
Newbee

@Melini:

I agree with Melini in listing your mother, before the father and stepmom… I guess I wasn’t thinking about the order of doing this… =)

Post # 12
Member
2488 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

i would list your mother first as well.

I would do it like this I am going to

Parens of the Bride:

Mrs. Jane A. Doe

Mr. John Doe Mrs. Jane B Doe.

Parents of the groom.

Mr GroomsDad Mrs. Grooms Mom

Ibet alot of people wont notice or already know.

Post # 13
Member
3357 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Ms. Jane Doe

followed by

Mr and Mrs Jane Doe

The topic ‘Wording programs when Mom & Step-mom have same name’ is closed to new replies.

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