(Closed) Wording w/ divorced parents…

posted 9 years ago in Paper
Post # 3
Member
90 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

I have the exact same issue.  My parents are divorced and remarried, FI’s parents are married.  I’ll be following this board just to see what others have to say. 

We decided to say "together with their families" just to make it simple.  My parents are both a little embarassed about their divorce and the less attention it receives, the more comfortable they seem to be. 

I feel bad for the FI’s parents since they somewhat get the short end of the stick, but hopefully we can make it up to them in other ways.  🙂 

In the end, will your parents feelings be hurt if you omit their names on the invitation?  They will be announced during the reception 🙂

Post # 4
Member
208 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

We wrote "together with their parents"  which I love!

Post # 5
Member
40 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2009

Did your parents spouses change their names? As in did your mother take your step father’s last name and did you stepmohter take your father’s last name. If so so see the first example. If not see the second example. I have been told to put your mother’s name first in the list, but that is up to you.

My parents are divorced too and remarried as well and while I really want to put their names on the invitation, Example 2 is a lot of names.

Example 1

Mr. and Mrs. Donald Duck and

Mr. and Mrs. Mickey Mouse

Request the honor of your presence

at the marriage of their daughter

Linda Ann Ray

to

Chuck Willie Robinson

son of Mr. and Mrs. Willie Robinson

Example 2

Dr. Emily Kline, Mr. Donald Duck,

Mr. Mickey Mouse, and Mrs. Emily Mason

Request the honor of your presence

at the marriage of their daughter

Linda Ann Ray

to

Chuck Willie Robinson

son of Mr. and Mrs. Willie Robinson

I hope this helps! Happy planning!

Post # 6
Member
2292 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2008

The traditional wording starts with the brides parents, because traditionally they are the ones who host the event.  If everyone is hosting, there is nothing wrong (as long as it is fine with all your parents) with an invitation that says something like:

Jane and John Jones
Susan and Sam Smith
Lucie and Larry Lee

Request the pleasure of your company at the marriage of their children

Cindy Smith and Matt Lee

You could also put just your various parents at the top, and include his parents after his name (son of Lucie and Larry Lee) although the implication there is that his parents are contributing primarily their son to the occasion, and your family is hosting.  Speaking as a stepmother myself, I believe that you can ignore the issue of whose biological daughter you actually are for the purposes of the invitation.  I’m not sure there is any good way to include both your parents and your step-parents while making that distinction – most of the wording you see like that assumes that the event is hosted by one parent/step-parent combination, in which case you could indicate that you are either "her" or "his" daughter.  In your case, if you feel the need to explain beyond word of mouth which people are biologically responsible for your existance, you could do that in the program.

Post # 7
Member
2292 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2008

Good point about the names, Lindz1701.

Also, remember that you’re writing an announcement, not a sentence.  In a sentence you would include a lot of punctuation that you wouldn’t on an announcement (e.g., Chuck Willie Robinson, son of Mr. and Mrs. Willie Robinson,).

So if you think it looks better to include all the ands and commas, go right ahead, but it’s really not necessary.  I think when you get the names of all the various parents appropriately centered or justified and in your fancy font it will look lovely either way.

As far as how many names are there, I would just feel lucky to have so many people who love you and want to make your day special!

Post # 8
Member
5 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: July 2009

I have a similar problem as both of our parents are divorced or widowed and now remarried, this is what we came up with:

 Mr Joe & Mrs. Jill Smith and Jack Taylor

along with

Mr Bill & Mrs. Ann Shaw and Alan Thomas

request the honour of your presence at the marriage of their children…

It’s a little wordy but worth it to include all our parents

Post # 9
Member
2292 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2008

Miss Peony, I would suggest that if you use the formal title of Mr. or Mrs. for some of your various parental units, you should use it for all of them (Mr. Jack Taylor and Mr. Alan Thomas as well).  Also, the sad result of using that form of addressing is that unless the wife has a different last name than her husband (for instance, if Mrs. Jill Smith was the wife of Mr. Jack Taylor) the use of the woman’s name is not correct.  So you can say "Mr. and Mrs. Joe Smith," or you can say "Jill and Joe Smith," but to say "Mr. Joe and Mrs. Jill Smith" is not really correct.

Also, if you want to include deceased parents on your invitation, announcement, or program, the correct way to do that is to indicate "daughter (or son) of the late Mr. Jack Taylor."  A deceased person cannot actually host the event (request the honor of your company).  Many etiquette books will tell you that the deceased parent’s name should not be included on the invitation at all, only on the announcement or program, and I’m sure that’s at least partly because of the difficulty in doing it in a way that makes sense.

Post # 10
Member
24 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: November 2009

I had the same problem (parents divorced and both remarried) and mom went nuts when I showed her my invitation draft with "Together with their parents…" AND she did NOT want to have her name on the same line as my dad (hard to believe I actually came to be.)

Everyone is contributing to this wedding and I don’t want to leave anyone out so the final draft went like this:
Mr. and Mrs. Stepdad Last Name
Mr. and Mrs. Father Last Name
request the honour of your presence
at the marriage of their daughter
Groundhog Last Name
to 
Mr. Groundhog Last Name
son of 
Mr. and Mrs. Future Father-In-Law Last Name
On Saturday, November 14, 2009
3 0’clock
Church of Happiness
New York, New York
I used Reaves Engraving and their customer service was the BEST and they were real fast and the invitations look gorgeous! Happy Day

Post # 11
Member
796 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2009

The way Lindz wrote it is the way we did it. With "son of" as a way to acknowledge the fiance’s parents.

The topic ‘Wording w/ divorced parents…’ is closed to new replies.

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