(Closed) Wording when requesting money

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
999 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

It depends, you will have to post the entire peom.

Post # 4
Member
1104 posts
Bumble bee

I think any request asking for money is rude, in rhyming form or not. I’ve seen ones like you’ve got too that have some kind of “but if you give us something else that’s totally fine” disclaimer at the end. So I don’t think you’re being silly for being put out.

We got money as gifts from a lot of people without asking for it, so I maintain that people will give cash if they want and you don’t have to go so far as to ask 🙂

Post # 5
Member
4755 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Umm I feel exactly the opposite. To say you’d only like money and leaving those screwed who bought gifts is far worse IMO.

Post # 6
Member
611 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

ugh these cutesy begging poems are so GROSS, why does anyone do them?

I agree with you about that last line. I agree with vmec that it’s not *quite* as bad as putting “monetary gifts only,” but it CERTAINLY implies that a physical gift is second-best.

Yuck, yuck, yuck.

Post # 7
Member
9056 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2010

I think any reference to any potential gift, monetary or other on a wedding invitation is kind of rude.

I did this for my SIL’s bridal shower.  We were in Europe and picked up a shower gift that we really thought she’d love from the Louvre, but her shower invite came with “any donations to the bride and groom’s cash tree would be much appreciated”, which I followed up with her about, and she told me she didn’t want people “filling her house with junk”… so I kept it, and felt really annoyed that I had to shell out twice for a gift, since I couldn’t exactly fly back to Paris…

Post # 8
Member
3297 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013 - An amazing non-profit retreat

@starbuck:  

 

I second that. I don’t think you can really have control over gifts or money. You get what you get, and you should just appreciate what you do get. 

That said, I would DIE if we got money for our honeymoon instead of kitchen gadgets!

Post # 9
Member
196 posts
Blushing bee

Any mention of a gift in the invitation makes me wonder if it’s me or my gift they are inviting to the wedding.  I think it’s ok to put info on your wedsite or tell your mom that if people ask what you really need is cash, but you are registered at XYZ.  People who try to dictate gifts to me usually end up with a lovely card and nothing else. 😀

Post # 10
Member
2712 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I don’t think you’re being silly at all! Asking for money is rude – it doesn’t matter if it was through a cutesy poem or not.  Also, it’s rude and tacky to include anything about gifts with the invite.

Post # 11
Member
1145 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

make sure to buy them a dish set from ross.

I hate gift poems.

Post # 12
Member
13012 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I personally believe asking for money is rude — if you want a cash gift, you should have a limited registry and have your parents and Future In-Laws hint that money would be more appreciated for X (“Jane and John are saving to buy a house..”).  The only thing I hate more than people asking for money is those”cute” poems, which really get under my skin.

That being said — I think it’s a cultural thing.  From other Bees on here, I think they are quite common in Australia and some other areas (please correct me if I’m wrong!  It’s just the impression I got!). 

Post # 13
Member
2104 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Yeah, trying to control what gifts people are getting for you is very rude.  It comes across as not being thankful for the important things in life, such as having people you love to invite to your wedding and people loving you enough to show up.  To me, their presence is far more important than their presents.

Post # 15
Member
13012 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@Bears-bub:  Right — I thought the poem itself was an Australian thing.  The only Bees I’ve seen posting about them a lot were from there (or living there/getting married there I guess is a better statement).  But who knows!  Unchartered waters!

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