(Closed) wording/addressee questions. help!!

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: when do you send separate invitations to various people in one household?
    never - if they're all invited : (1 votes)
    13 %
    always : (0 votes)
    only if guests are of a certain age : (6 votes)
    75 %
    wah! : (1 votes)
    13 %
  • Post # 3
    3267 posts
    Sugar bee

    @call_me_ktb: All adults should receive an invitation.  So if uncle lives at home with 2 teenage daughters.  Then 3 envelopes will be sent to his home.  One for him and his guest (and you call him to ask for the guests name, or more strictly her address as well) and then one each for the two cousins.

    Post # 4
    1636 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2017

    My understanding is that etiquette (at least currently – I have no idea what the standard would have been 100 years ago) says you send a separate invitation to people over the age of 18, even if they’re living in the same household.  Personally, I think this can be adjusted without problem depending on your family’s own conventions.  I would not bat an eye at receiving an invitation that was sent to my parents, my siblings, and me all together as a family – in fact, we’ve received invitations like this even after I had moved out and was living with Fiance.  I don’t think it’s a big deal.  I’d like to be as economical with paper as possible, so when I send out my invites I might not send a separate one to each adult child still living at home.

    So in the first scenario you mentioned, you could send each daughter her own invite, or you could send one to the whole family.  You could address the envelope either way you want, or you could even list the kids’ names as part of the address (because you hear stories about people who interpret “family” to mean Uncle Joe and Third Cousin Lucy and the neighbor kid next door…)  Or if you don’t want to list all the names on the envelope, I’d be sure to specify somewhere on the RSVP card the name of the people invited or the number of people (i.e. “We have reserved 5 seats in your honor,” or “___ of 5 will attend”).

    In the second situation, I wouldn’t write “guest” on the envelope – again, it’s a situation where I think you can use the RSVP card to specify who’s invited, either by writing “Joe Smith and guest, Jane Smith, and Little Timmy Smith,” or by specifying the number of seats reserved.

    ETA – I agree with PP that if you can find out the name of the guest you should, but sometimes it’s not possible because he may not actually be with anyone right now and you’re just giving him the option of bringing anyone he wants.

    Post # 5
    468 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: December 2010

    The PPs are correct that adult children should receive their own invitations, separate from their parents.

    For your uncle, the outer envelope should be addressed solely to him and the inner envelope should read “Dr. Robert Jones, IV and Guest”


    The topic ‘wording/addressee questions. help!!’ is closed to new replies.

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