(Closed) Work Baby Shower…But Not for This Pregnant Mom

posted 9 years ago in Babies
Post # 3
6392 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

That really is sad! A baby is definitely something to celebrate, and it’s really dumb that instead of just apologizing to your male co-worker and moving on, they’re just continuing the mistake with you :(. Hugs, and I hope you know that your friends are still happy for you, even if they’re being silly!

Post # 4
411 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I am soo sorry you have to deal with this!! I know exactly how you feel. I am always the person giving and trying to help out others and it seems like every time I’m the one who gets the short end of the stick.

Can you talk to the Office Manager that is your friend and tell her how you feel and see if she can pull any strings. Just tell her you don’t even want any gifts it just feels like they are forgetting you altogether.

Once again I’m sorry!! Frown

Post # 5
1893 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

Wait, what?  They’re not throwing you a baby shower NOW because they didn’t throw one for you before when you were pregnant with your FIRST child?  Did I get that straight?  

I hope not, because that would make no sense whatsoever.

Post # 6
505 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2012

Yea I’m a bit confused.  You’re start date at your current job was delayed because you had just given birth to your first child so no shower.  But now you think you should get a shower because you are pregnant again and didn’t get a shower the first time?

Not to be rude, but I would never expect my office “give” me a baby shower or wedding shower or any type of shower.  It’s a work environment.  If co-worker wants to give me a present then take on off my registry and send it to me from there.

I’m sorry that you feel shafted, but honestly I don’t think its that big of a deal.

Post # 10
10285 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

I dont see what the big deal is. No-one is entitled to office bridal/baby showers. I work for a large corporate office. The most we do is all go in on a gift card or a gift off the couples/mothers registry. No showers, no cakes, nothing. It’s a place of business. If you want a baby shower, have your friends throw it. 

ETA: I’m sorry. My post was kind of assholeish. I’m sure this all has to do with hormones. Maybe they’ll surprise you and do a little something for you. 

Post # 11
505 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2012

I get what you are saying now Brit.  I can see where you are coming from now (with the explanation that you gave after my last post).  

I give you credit for backing out of the party.  Better to nip it in the bud before everything comes flooding out and could look like the jealous one at the party.  

Blame everything on the pregnancy hormones 🙂

Post # 13
1774 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

What I don’t understand is how it went from a joint shower to a shower only for your coworker, and then asking you for help.  I agree with PPs that this isn’t that important and no one owes you a baby shower, particularly with a second baby, but if they are asking you to help throw other people’s it is inconsistent not to give you the same.

I completely agree with refusing to help with the shower, as long as it’s done in a polite way.  If I were you, I would probably say something about being too busy preparing for your baby’s arrival to be able to contribute to planning.

Post # 14
3586 posts
Sugar bee

Glad you refused to do the shower. Who says “It’s joint for you and Sally!” then goes “It’s just for Sally, can you plan it?”

Just rude. I hate how dad’s are treated too. Geez, half his chromosomes helped make the baby.

Post # 15
711 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Yes I think this is inconsiderate. It makes sense why you didn’t get a shower for the first child – you weren’t working there yet! But this is different. It seems like they are throwing showers for nearly everyone else, and you get roped into planning them, probably bc you are nice and creative, but then you get the shaft.  I would have a hard time not feeling resentful as well!

I think it was a great idea to back out of planning the shower, and you might have to back out of more in the future. There is not really any way you can bring it up, I think, without looking like you are complaining or whiny, although you can blame it on the pregnancy horomones, like you said, or say something like “I’m really sad I missed having a shower here with you all, y’all really know how to throw a fun party!” But that is probably all.


Post # 16
681 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

i totally understand why you’re upset. i would be too. it’s not about the gifts or the attention, it’s about the principle of showing people that you care about them when they are facing a life changing event. i can understand why you would feel like they are being inconsiderate, especially if you spend a lot of time and energy being considerate to them. plus you’re right – skipping your shower does not fix the way they treated the male coworker!

is there anyone at work that you feel particularly close to? maybe if he/she knew how upset this was making you, they would take it upon themselves to schedule a small celebratory lunch off site. again – not about the gifts, but it would give you the opportunity to celebrate with the coworkers you are close to and maybe undue some of the ill feelings about this situation?…

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