Work relationship- is this too risky?

posted 1 week ago in Relationships
Post # 2
Member
452 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2019 - City, State

IMO, you are expressly forbidden to date someone above you, thus it will, and should, be a problem. 

Post # 3
Member
175 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Yeah, this would fall under “power dynamic”. 

That said, how often do you interact with him on a regular basis? Could it be parred down to almost non-existent, or do you need to talk to him a lot?

I def would not do anything over the school year. Wait till summer if you go for something. 

Post # 5
Member
4288 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2018

anonforthisone2019 :  That individuals may not be in a relationship where there is a power dynamic. I’d assume this falls under that?

He is the vice principle, this definitely falls under a power-dynamic so it is definitely against company policy. 

Post # 7
Member
618 posts
Busy bee

At this point in time, it does sound like there would be a power dynamic at play, whether you are a direct report of his or not. 

Post # 8
Member
8942 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

anonforthisone2019 :  If he is part of the leadership team then yes he is directly involved in your role. He doesn’t have to set your schedule or interact daily with you to be involved in your role. The leadership team makes decisions as a group about things like budgets, resources, hiring and firing and on and on. And if something were to happen to the principal then he could suddenly become the principal.

Also just because it is summer holidays does not mean you are free to date if you are a continuing employee. 

If you want to pursue a relationship with this guy then one of you needs to transfer schools.

This is as much for your protection as it is for his. Say you broke up with him and he doesn’t take it well. There are ways he could make your life and job hard without getting caught.

Post # 9
Member
2280 posts
Buzzing bee

Very bad idea.

And frankly, I cast shade at him.  He should absolutely know better.

Post # 12
Member
452 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2019 - City, State

anonforthisone2019 :  I would just stop flirting. If he asks “What gives?” say, “I brushed up on the handbook, and didn’t want to put either of us in a compromising situation”. 

Post # 13
Member
96 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2019

How easy is it for you to transfer schools? It sounds like it may be better for you, emotionally, to transfer regardless of how this crush shakes out. 

I dated a coworker (and am now marrying him!), but there was no power dynamic in play. I’ll also add that I totally believe that one of us transferring is what made our relationship work out. 

Post # 15
Member
175 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Talking to him about it and sending boundaries together is going to be hella awkward. Just distance yourself and date others. 

I have a friend who is a VP, and aiming to be a principal one day. I’m no expert but I don’t think it’s an indication of anything that your VP didn’t take over. Hearing her talk about the steps and wanting to apply to be a principal makes it seem more business/corporate structured than say, USA president based, like it’s based on your experience and connections/history, and my friend is still young and new and says she has more steps before she can be considered. Such as, if my boss suddenly quit at my job, I wouldn’t automatically take over even though I’m technically the next in line. 

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