(Closed) Work + School + Planning = STRESS

posted 9 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
398 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2009

I was in almost the exact same situation when I got married.  Working full time in a job that requires a ton of travel, going to graduate school with 2 courses and planning the wedding.  My courses ended just one week after the wedding, so all the papers/work was due just a week after the wedding.  I am not going to lie it was stressful, but I found three things to be extremely helpful:

  1. Outsource responsibilites.  If your future husband is interested in something by all means let him do it…it is after all his wedding.
  2. Just breathe.  Take a moment each week to do something not related to any of the three things that are the biggest stressors.   I would go out with a group of girls or host a dinner party, etc.  Channel your energy into a short term distraction.
  3. Realize its going to ok and perfect no matter what.  This is the big one!  You can stress over so many things when it comes to wedding, but in the end it just matters that you are going to be married and you and your loved ones will have a blast no matter what!

Good Luck!

Post # 4
Member
7431 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

I totally agree with you!!  I’m working full time, going to school full time (undergrad) and planning our wedding as well!  I’m also taking 2 summer classes which are half the amount of time but the same amount of work – it about killed me last summer but I’m so close to being done I just want it to be over!!

1 thing that has worked for me to keep my sanity is to devote one night a week to just us – no school, work or wedding allowed.  It really gets you grounded after a crazy week and gives you something to look forward to

Post # 5
Member
155 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

yes! i work 9-5, i’m taking master classes on friday’s from 6-10 and saturdays 9-1 and i’m having my wedding in only 11 days!

i’ve got to finish a 20 pages’ essay for tomorrow, but fortunately my wedding to-do list it’s almost completed!

just try to relax, take a nap, drink some hot tea, tell your Fiance to massage you and don’t do anything wedding related for minimum a day per week!

Post # 6
Member
349 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2009 - Rancho Bernardo Inn

Yes! And basically it is absolute chaos.  I work at 3 different offices because one of my jobs is to earn hours to get my therapist license.  Days started at 8:00am and didn’t end until 10:00pm plus a 30 minute drive home.  I actually just finished my main classes last week and now only have an internship class left 1 day a week as opposed to 3 or 4 days.  Which is a huge relief.  Part of why we’ve had a long engagement is because of all the school stuff and I wanted to finish my degree and have a couple month cushion before the wedding.  I’m not sure we got as much done as I orginally planned but now we are really trying to get stuff done.  

Basically what I did was breathe and learn that I had to let go of certain thing and remind myself of that.  (still reminding myself now…)  Try to find people that can help and you trust.  And as other posters mentioned…make sure to take some quality time for just you and your Fiance.  

Post # 7
Member
2022 posts
Buzzing bee

Yes!  I work from about 8 am to 7 pm and about 5 hours on weekends.  My Fiance works 80-100 hours a week and so most of the house duties (cleaning, grocery, bill paying) fall on me.  And wedding planning.  And we just started looking for houses!  It has been a struggle keeping it together.  I figure people have done it before successfully…why can’t I?  Though a few mental health relaxation days would help….

The big help is the gym.  I need to blow off steam at least 4 days a week to keep my sanity.

Post # 8
Member
1813 posts
Buzzing bee

I did the same thing in Feb w/ only a 6 mo engagement, though I *knew* a year in advance, I didn’t do hard core planning until it was official.

I work OT most weeks & am taking 2 masters classes (no summer breaks!) & moved in w/ him during the engagement, too, and had to figure out leasing my house!  I’m also working on a professional certification that takes FOREVER.

Post # 9
Member
1813 posts
Buzzing bee

oh, and my recommendation, though it sucks, is to use work vacation to catch up on school at the end of the semester…hopefully wedding planning is your "fun time" like it was mine, so I didn’t mind the hard work as much, but I can’t say my grades haven’t suffered some

Post # 10
Member
14186 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

Well, i work full time as an engineer and I actually put off grad school for this reason. However, i just took the GMAT so i’ve been studying like crazy and working on all my applications which is super time consuming, too! I just keep my head down…and probably do more wedding stuff at work than i should, eek. I miss my free weekends! Take some time for yourself. I got so fed up last week I punted EVERYTHING. i know that isn’t always feasible with homework, but i wasn’t so burnt out the next day.

Post # 11
Member
3332 posts
Sugar bee

I’m doing the same thing–working, taking classes and planning the wedding.  It has been driving me crazy, honestly!  I feel like I’m doing a bad job at everything because I’m always being pulled in so many directions. 

Honestly, I’m not sure I’ve been dealing with the stress all that well.  I have been trying to delegate as much of the wedding planning to other people (my mom, my fiance) as possible and letting some little things go.  I am lucky, though, because I only have classes for another 3 days and then I’m taking the summer off from school.  Then it will just be work and wedding planning!!

Good luck to all you ladies.  I know how you feel!!

Post # 12
Member
14186 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

Eating healthy goes a LONG way. If i go on the crap food train, i feel more drained. so even though the healthy frozen foods are pricier, i look at it like an investment. And ditto with Erin on the gym….i GOTTA go or i feel like a big bum and i get more anxious and stressed than if i don’t go.

Post # 13
Member
468 posts
Helper bee

gracez

 I feel your pain. I work two part time jobs (researcher in my program and Behavioral Consultant for kids who are developmentally delayed), attend my PhD program full time and try to squeeze in some wedding planning too. 

 I don’t have any great words of wisdom but I think you’re right on track, things will work out, you just have to get through the tough stuff. 

One stress reliever for me is working out. My other stress reliever is silly but since I’m in a high stress program, I love watching trashy reality TV shows (think Rock of Love). Both really help me unwind. 

 Good luck with eveyrthing, I’m sure it will all work out. Just know you’re not alone in this and  I’m sending postive vibes your way. 

Post # 14
Member
160 posts
Blushing bee

Oh graduate school… I should be studying now… my relief is definitley weddingbee! It gets my mind off the job and school to-do lists and lets me focus on a much funner to-do list (wedding planning!)

I also try to give myself "me" time. My health is far more important than anything else, so I try to work-out to relieve stress and stay healthy as well. 

Post # 15
Member
92 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2009

i feel your pain! i’m wrapping up undergrad (i graduate in may), job searching, working already, and trying to plan a wedding…all in 5 months! are we crazy for trying to do this? but as stressful as it gets…it is pretty fun!

Post # 16
Member
159 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

UGH!  I understand…

Up until this week, I’ve been balancing law school, legislative internship, and a tiny job (just 4 hours a week).  All I’ve wanted to do is relax, hang out with my Fiance and plan the wedding though.  Fortunately, the internship is over after today and the part-time job ended last week.  Finals are looming!!!! 

You know though, this is temporary!  We will all make it through!  Good luck especially to everyone working full-time though.  You can do it!

 delegate, delegate, delegate!  (or so I try to tell myself)

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