(Closed) Work shower?

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
8871 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

a work shower is separate from your real shower.  you do not have to invite your coworkers to your wedding if you don’t want to.




Post # 4
2490 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2018

@ajillity81:  Agreed. I’ve been to lots of work showers where I haven’t been invited to the wedding. I think it’s more of unspoken knowledge that this is just a fun, work thing.

Post # 5
11747 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

my coworkers threw me a “shower” more like just a little lunch and bought me a few gifts. It was nice and none of them were invited to the wedding.  They threw it the week before I left for the wedding. 

I think it’s fine if they throw it even though you aren’t inviting them all.

Post # 6
46657 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Showers hosted by work colleagues, club members, church members, neighbours, Mom’s old friends etc are exempt from any obligation to issue an invitation to the wedding.

Post # 7
922 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

My work lady friend is throwing me a shower for the entire office (we are small), even though no one is invited to the wedding.  She wanted to and wants to invite everyone, so I’m letting her do her thing.  I’ve seen lots of threads go around about shower etiquette and invites, but I’m not sure I follow most people’s reasonsings.  I think that if someone wants to throw you a shower (whether they are invited to your wedding or not), then I think that’s a very generous offer.  There is no “that’s not allowed” type rule.  If someone feels like it would be rude to attend or bring a gift if they’re not invited to the wedding, then they can respectfully decline the invitation. 

You may want to talk to the shower giver about a guest list, if you have concerns about inviting the people who are not invited to the wedding.  Personally, I would love to be able to give you a gift at a shower since I wouldn’t be attending the wedding (but that’s just the type of person I am).

Post # 8
808 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

My coworkers threw me a surprise shower and I didnt’ invite any of them to the wedding. 

Post # 9
1063 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

My office has been known to throw surprise showers, and I’ll probably be (quietly) inviting only two friends who I do things with outside of the office.  I’ve never been led to believe that invites are expected in that situation.

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