(Closed) Work Throwing Shower for Another Soon to be Bride, but Not Me

posted 4 years ago in Career
  • poll: Am I right to feel slighted?
    Yes : (69 votes)
    92 %
    No, you're overreacting : (6 votes)
    8 %
  • Post # 3
    696 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    @somerrae:  I would be offended too. That is really rude and unfair.

    Post # 4
    3199 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    @somerrae:  …awkward. is she friends with more people outside of work than you are? i.e. does she go out with a group of teachers for dinner once a week, and you don’t, or something? the only explanation i can come up with is that a work-friend set up this engagement for her and maybe there wasn’t someone in your circle with the same motivation?

    Post # 5
    4442 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: January 2013 - Harbourfront Grand Hall

    @somerrae:  That’s definitely odd IMO.  Maybe they think they can’t throw you a shower because you don’t have a registry?  I’m assuming based on you saying you two don’t need anything.


    Are you sure people know that you’re getting married?

    Post # 6
    1847 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    Are you sure it isn’t a joint shower, but they just didn’t say that in your email, so it would remain a surprise to you?

    Post # 7
    3176 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2011

    @somerrae:  Who sent the email? Is it all the other teachers throwing it together or is she just really close with one of them and they a doing it for her?

    Post # 8
    127 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    Definitely understand how you feel and I would also feel slighted, however, my first thoughts after reading your message is that it’s probably a surprise shower for you too, maybe they sent her the same email but saying it was your shower? so you’ll both show up thinking its for the other?? Not sure if that’s actually what’s going on but that would be a sneaky/cute thing to do.

    If I’m wrong then I’m sorry that sucks:( but don’t fret, none of these people will be at your wedding anyway.


    Post # 9
    922 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    I do think that’s rude, especially to announce it to the entire school.  However, is everyone at your school invited to her wedding? If so, then it’s fairly standard to host a shower for the bride and all the female invitees.  I think it’s optional for them to throw you a shower (totally voluntary) since no one is invited to yours.  My office is throwing me a shower even though none of them are invited (we are small and all close).

    Post # 10
    838 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: March 2008

    Maybe she has a close friend at work who thought to throw her a shower. I doubt this is the whole school slighting you as I’m sure the whole school isn’t throwing her a shower. Sure, you can be slighted, but there are so many reasons I can think of for why they wouldn’t throw a shower for you, but they did for her.

    Post # 11
    1755 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2014

    @FortiesFlare:  +1.  I was wondering about them surprising you.

    Post # 12
    12103 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: May 2014

    I ditto the PP’s – are you sure they’re not throwing a joint surprise shower?  Maybe they’re not.  It would definitely be odd if they were planning a shower for one and not the other.  Are you sure no one from work is going to the DW?  Were they invited?  Have you been vocal about not wanting gifts? 

    Post # 13
    817 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: April 2013

    @somerrae:  That’s so rude and just plain weird. Why couldn’t they have just thrown you both a co-shower? IDK if that’s a thing, but I feel like it would work well in this situation. I don’t know what I would do, I guess it’s not going to help to say something. Sorry 🙁

    Post # 14
    2029 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    @somerrae:  I would be offended….yeah. 

    Post # 16
    11760 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    That’s really awkward and rude.

    The topic ‘Work Throwing Shower for Another Soon to be Bride, but Not Me’ is closed to new replies.

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