(Closed) Work Throwing Shower for Another Soon to be Bride, but Not Me

posted 7 years ago in Career
  • poll: Am I right to feel slighted?
    Yes : (69 votes)
    92 %
    No, you're overreacting : (6 votes)
    8 %
  • Post # 17
    296 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    @somerrae:  I think that is very rude too! My only thought was maybe she is close to one person there that decided to plan the whole thing. Then it is not really everyone elses idea but they may go.  Sorry that you feel this way. 

    Post # 18
    823 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    @somerrae:  while I totally get being hurt or feeling slighted, these situations are all part of being an adult and life isn’t fair. For whatever reason, someone made the effort to throw a shower for this woman even if no one did for you. It sucks, but there’s no rule saying that anyone now has to throw one for you and make it “fair.” This isn’t elementary school and not everyone gets a party thrown in their honor just to make it equal. 


    I do hope that other bees are right and perhaps it’s a surprise joint shower. Even if it isn’t, I still wouldn’t take it too personally. Adults are lazy and chances are, this woman just happens to have a friend who enjoys organizing these types of events. It doesn’t necessarily mean your friends care about you less. 

    Post # 19
    4522 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    @somerrae:  More “awkward” to me than anything, but I understand what you mean. I don’t see how they could have planned that and NOT thought “hmmmm, what about the OTHER bride?” Any chance they may plan something for you at a later date?

    Post # 20
    714 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    I think that these things just happen. We were the last ones this year to get engaged in our group of friends and everyone else got engagement parties thrown for them except us, and yes I am so bitter about it. I’m secretly waiting for the opportunity to made a snide remark about it to them. I think people just don’t think. I’m sorry, that really sucks, but just try to think about how you don’t have to sit through another awkward work party and focus on the fact that you are marrying the man of your dreams.

    Post # 21
    804 posts
    Busy bee

    Yeah, that’s pretty rude. Maybe it’s unthinkingly done, but I’d be a little bummed too. I’m assuming if the email went to the whole school (including her) then it’s not a surprise for her so presumably if they were to throw one for you they would’ve also let you know…

    Post # 22
    4801 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    I know how you feel – my work had a baby shower for a girl who had her baby in December, and they just sent out invites for another who is having a baby in August. Meanwhile, I had a baby last month, have worked there longer than either of those girls and have much longer/more regular hours…and there was nothing for me. I’m trying to just not care even though it does hurt a bit, because I know that both of those girls are in much worse financial situations than myself plus they were not expecting this, and they do really need the help. But it’s still not a great feeling, I’m sorry =/

    Post # 24
    1880 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    @somerrae:  “It is hurtful to know that either I wasn’t thought of, or I was thought of  and they just didn’t care.” – I totally get this feeling and it really does suck.  I’m so sorry you are feeling bad about this situation but try not to let it get to you.  Did I read right that you are moving across the country after you get married?  If that’s so then you can just focus on the fact that you are not going to be working with these [possibly] rude and inconsiderate people much longer.  And definitely don’t participate in the other bride’s shower because it will only further upset you.

    Post # 25
    28 posts
    • Wedding: July 2013

    I’m a teacher, getting married next month, and leaving the school. I’ve had neither a work wedding shower or a goodbye party. Trying to be positive…but yes, it makes me a little sad. 🙁 sorry you feel sad too!

    Post # 26
    1729 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    @FortiesFlare:  +1 that’s my guess

    I would be really surprised if it wasn’t a surprise for you.

    Post # 28
    4413 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    @somerrae:  oh no, this is terrible!!! I’m glad you ended up saying something, even if it was just to get the awful truth 🙁  Now I wouldn’t be surprised if they threw together some sort of half-assed shower for you really quickly just to cover their asses a little. If they do, they’d better come up with a kickass gift for you that is even better than what they’re doing for the other bride! I find that hurt feelings are often assuaged best with a big fat check, so hopefully they at least try to buy their way out of this one!

    Post # 29
    7369 posts
    Busy Beekeeper

    That’s terrible but its good that you did speak up. 

    The topic ‘Work Throwing Shower for Another Soon to be Bride, but Not Me’ is closed to new replies.

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