- 2 years ago
Would love to hear from other people about this! My newly 24 year old younger brother has really gotten the homeowner bug. A very brief history: he went to college for 1.5 years (and did have a roommate) before quitting and moving back home, worked part time, then had a good full time job for about 3 years, and now has a different job as of this spring. He has owned 4 motorcycles and 2 trucks in that time, and taken care of all paperwork and insurance for them. He is good with his money. He is clever and smart, fixing and adding to his truck, building his computer, planning camping trips, he can fix things, he’s a problem solver, etc. He was in a serious relationship for 2 years with a girl who’d been married before. His credit is great.
However: he lives at home so saving is easy, he doesn’t have to cook, he never cleans, he hasn’t had to deal with a lease much less enforce it. Hasn’t had to pay for non-vehicle repairs. Hasn’t had to deal with living with someone who is terrible, overly sensitive, loud all the time, pays late, etc. His new truck pretty much wiped out his savings, and he is operating under the understanding/assumption that our parents will loan him money for the down payment. He has never had to interview potential roommates, kick someone out. He hasn’t been at his new job very long.
Initially he just wanted to move out, and we were discussing him taking over my lease (I am seeking work in a different state). My roommates and I even discussed and agreed to offering him our third bedroom immediately, though by then he’d moved on from the idea of renting to the itch to own. I had been encouraging him to still rent from us in the meantime – partially because he needs the experience, and partially so I wouldn’t have to go through the process of finding someone to replace me on the lease. Now that it’s become clear that he wants to own and just stay at home until that happens, I really feel he needs to rent somewhere, ANYWHERE, before buying a house.
I have had 12 roommates, excluding a summer lease and a shared house with other interns. I have lived at 6 addresses besides my parents’.
I know it varies person to person though, so I wanted to know – am I just being the worried older sister? I don’t necessarily think he will drown if he goes through with it, but I just feel that waiting 1 year (and actually renting during that year) would really benefit him. However, my mom is VERY buy over rent and pro-investment and feels very confident in his money skills, which means she hasn’t been stopping to really consider how he would fare with the rest of it. I want to pull my hair out but I am not his keeper. I have done my best to not bring it up too much, to bring up rational points when I do (he responds better to that anyway), etc. He listens, but I can tell he is really resisting because it’s not what he wants to hear.
Do you feel it is reasonable and feasible to jump straight from home to house? What was your experience? Do you have input on how to better communicate these concerns to him? I’m a pretty good communicator and, like I said, I’ve tried to be respectful and not naggy. Still, he has trouble seeing my input as objective (which is understandable).
Also, how was your experience as a first-time home owner? What surprises did you encounter? What do you wish you had known? How much had you set aside for incidentals? Do you wish you’d spent more or less on the house? What new lessons surprised and challenged you? Would also love input from anyone who bought and lived in their first home while also renting out one or more rooms in it! Or even just first time landlord experiences!
Would love to learn more not only for this situation, but also as my boyfriend wants to buy in the next few years, and then rent out when he gets military orders to relocate. I’m also just curious for myself!
Hopefully doesn’t need to be said, but please be CONSTRUCTIVE. It’s crazy how someone can be asking for input yet get a few of those crazy people who respond with YOU ARE HORRIBLE AND I KNOW SELFISH PEOPLE JUST LIKE YOU AND YOU ARE 100% WRONG AND KNOW NOTHING AND I PITY YOUR LOVED ONES. Yeesh.