(Closed) Worked here 5 years and not even a card!?!?

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
  • poll: Would you be upset if no one at your office even got you a card for your wedding?
    I would be very upset : (44 votes)
    33 %
    I would not be upset : (29 votes)
    21 %
    who cares? : (61 votes)
    45 %
    It's possible they are just VERY late : (1 votes)
    1 %
  • Post # 3
    3771 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: August 2013 - Brookfield Zoo

    In the circumstance that you described (they throw other people showers, you’ve worked with these people for 5 years), I would be very upset.  However, I don’t think there’s anything you can do about it, as it is up to one of them if they wanted to organize things 🙁  And yes, I do think baby showers are more common than wedding showers at the office.  Sorry you’ve run into this situation, but at least got to celebrate with your true friends and family!  Work is just work!

    Post # 4
    3572 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    Did you invite anyone from work to your wedding?  Maybe people were surprised they were not invited.  Also, not having a registry doesn’t help if you wanted an office shower.  Sorry you’re feeling let down.

    Post # 5
    3886 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    I wouldn’t care. I’m at work to earn a paycheck and do my job, not because I need a social life or more friends. Plus if you’re just colleagues with your co-workers and not close friends, then it’s easier to leave work behind when you leave for the day.  Let it go.

    Post # 6
    11325 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: February 2011

    Unless doing cards/showers for weddings is the norm and you feel singled out… I would not be concerned. It doesn’t sound like you are close enough to any of these people to invite them to the wedding… so if you didn’t ask them to celebrate with you it kind of makes sense that they….. wouldn’t. And that’s fine! You work in a huge company so it would be kind of hard to celebrate everything it seems. 

    The baby shower thing makes more sense to me because it is a bit more of a visible life change that is kind of in-your-face. Not only are you reminded about it daily but that person will probably be taking a significant amount of time off of work. Plus it is easier to buy little stuff for baby showers/think the parents need something more than a couple getting married. 

    Post # 8
    2394 posts
    Buzzing bee

    I worked at my job seven years at the time of my wedding and didnt’ get as much as a card from any coworker. Didn’t bother me one bit, as I had a destination wedding and didn’t invite anyone from work. 

    Post # 9
    9056 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2010

    Work acknowledgement is such a tricky thing to not turn into a popularity contest. If it’s standard at your work place to do such things and Inwas the only one who didn’t get one I’d probably be a little upset. 

    I know in my case dh and i work together and got a work shower and probably $500 worth of registry items and giftcards from the person who organized it asking if people wanted to contribute, but since then we’ve had other people get married and not get nearly as much acknowledgement. But i work with 90% men… So maybe people just feel more inclined to give to a “bride”. 

    Post # 10
    2831 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    I would not care, I’m not inviting most of my co workers. I would not expect a card or anything from them. Been here over 3 years.

    Post # 11
    2874 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: March 2013

    @Miss Gamer:  i can understand feeling upset/left out but i dont know what you think talking to your boss would achieve. i mean what would you say?!? itd just look very strange

    in offices,i do thinkbaby showers are a bit more common. wedding showers…not so much.  were the co-workers invited to the wedding? if not, i guess im not that surprised they didnt get you a gift

    i dont htink it would occur to me to buy a present for a co-worker who didnt invite me to the wedding if im truly honest, whereas i might get a little something for a baby

    regardless…sorry you feel upset,but im sure it doesnt mean they dont like you or they like you less than the others

    Post # 12
    433 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: November 2012

    @Miss Gamer:  

    Welcome to office politics. Are you well liked at your company? Do you have friends there who are cheering you on for your wedding? Seems odd that they wouldn’t at least give a card unless there’s drama between you and your coworkers.

    Honestly though, I’ve been at my firm 8 years, and I could care less what I get, I don’t expect those kinds of things, it’s nice when they happen but this is a workplace, not a social club. Just my take.

    Post # 13
    3697 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    Yes, baby showers are much more popular.  Every woman (but only the girls!  I always get expectant fathers gifts, too!) who has had a baby while I’ve worked here has had a shower thrown for her by someone at work.  Some have been big “everyone come see her off before she has the baby” affairs and some have been just a simple email to the girls in the office to meet for lunch or at a restaurant after work. 

    But I’ve never seen a wedding shower or anyone really get excited about a wedding other than their own, and quite a few of my coworkers are the marrying age and have gotten engaged or married while I’ve been here (5 years, too).

    I got a nice card with a $300 gift card from my boss(!), a set of crystal candlesticks from my assistant, a card with a check for $50 from my coordinator (kind of my other boss), and that’s it. 

    A couple weeks after my wedding another guy in our group (of 14 including our techs) got married.  I bought a card, sent it around for signatures, collected money, and went and bought something off their registry.  When I went to one guy to have him sign it he said I made him feel like a jerk because he said they should have done something for me but everyone was all “yeah sure go ahead” and he at least wanted to take me out for lunch.  I declined, I didn’t need lunch to know he was happy for us. 

    So.. people care – I’m sure they’ve all made it known they’re happy for you, right?  Just be happy.  It stings a little, but it doesn’t occur to people to get involved in things they aren’t invited to.  When babies are born there’s no “event” – there’s just lots of happiness and presents.  With weddings, you get invited so you bring a gift. 

    Post # 14
    928 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    I have worked in an office environment for 7 and a half years. I have never seen a wedding shower, only baby showers.  Also, my coworkers who are my friends were invited to my my wedding shower. Other coworkers are just invited to the wedding but weren’t asked to my shower because they aren’t close friends.

    Post # 15
    200 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    I think it depends on how close you are to your coworkers, not how many you know. I’ve been at my job for 6 years, and while my coworkers did throw me a shower, I’m certain it was only because I’m really close to two of them. Otherwise, though, I honestly wouldn’t have expected anything from them except a “congrats” in the hallway!

    Post # 16
    4478 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: November 2012

    It’s unfriendly and rude for them not to, but a lot of people are pretty clueless about that sort of thing these days.

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