Post # 16
lilyflower08 : I work from home full time, and no, it is competely not feasible to do both unless his boss is perfectly okay with him working like an 18 hour day with random breaks all day long. My son was totally easy going, but still, babies are a lot of work and you don’t get to avoid them for 8 hours to get your job done. I went back to work when my son was three months and ended up hiring a part time nanny. She came in for 5 hours a day, and that worked well enough but was still stressful with juggling. I should add, my husband is in school so he was at home sometimes when the nanny wasn’t around and helped. It’s a huge juggling act even doing part time help, so no help at all would be impossible. What’s his plan when he gets a phone call or has a meeting? They’re being unrealistic which is understandable as first time parents. I had hoped to get away with the same thing, but quickly learned that was not going to happen while I was on maternity leave.
Post # 17
It’s doable if you’re really aware of the work its’ going to take to watch a newborn. My husband was able to clean and keep house with just a newborn. But I doubt he would be able to work work with a newborn.
Post # 18
lilyflower08 : This whole thread just seems like a total bash sesh on these people. Who cares if that is their plan? How does it personally impact you?
Maybe their finances are so tight right now that daycare isn’t an option and this is what they have to do in the interim to survive? Maybe the husband worked it out with his boss to work flex hours? Maybe they DO plan on having a nanny or grandparent come in for a 1/2 day here and there to offer relief. Maybe, maybe maybe… you just don’t know!
Unless the kid is put in harms way, it’s really none of your business how insane you think it is or not.
Post # 19
I’m going to go against the grain. I work full time from home and my 5 month old is home with me. I don’t find it too difficult, but I also have an understanding boss. If I really get overwhelmed, my Father-In-Law can pick her up but I’ve only needed it a few times. I work normal business hours (9-6 with a lunch) or I make up time if I have to run errands during the day, etc. I attend around 3-4 conference calls a week and I run one of those myself. My baby isn’t super easy going – she’s currently teething and there have been more than a few times where I’ve had to hold her and rock her on calls (while im on mute because I’m just a participant) to keep her quiet. I’ve also muted my own conference call to get her a pacifier, etc. My industry is a bit different, however. I work in staff augmentation and I have a really good relationship with all of my vendors. If my client ever calls me and my baby is crying, I simply don’t answer – I’ll either call back in a few minutes when she settles down or I’ll respond to their email. No, I’m not unprofessional – I take pride in working from home. I don’t have loud noise in the background etc when someone is calling me, and that includes my child. I haven’t had an incident with her wailing and being inconsolable (yet) but I’ll cross that bridge when I get there! I love being able to make really good money AND stay home with my daughter. It’s hard work but if you’re efficient, it can be done.
Post # 20
I have an almost 2 year old and no, it’s not possible—unless as a pp said your boss is fine with you working basically all day long with a billion breaks.
My employer requires you to have additional child care if you want to work from home while your kid is there. And yes they definitely check up on it, listening in on your phone calls etc.
Post # 21
ajillity81 : cool. didn’t day these were impossible tasks, just that 19 times out of 20 I’ve seen all plans made pre birth go by the wayside, yet it’s still better not to say that to expecting parents making plans.
the baby sign language thing in particular I’ve see abandoned several times. probably because it’s the more realistic goal so more parents to be swear they’re gonna do it.
fwiw, despite knowing the poor success rate, its one i’d like to try with my baby. we will see how fanciful I’m being with tim hehe
Post # 22
lilyflower08 : I have a 2 year old and 3 year old. From 3-9 months old I brought them to work with me, at my (private) office. It’s doable, kind of stressful but you learn to use your time very wisely. I would do it again. You just need to have the flexibilty to do tasks at different times. For me I was one the phone when the babies were napping. Once they became mobil they had to go to daycare. She will need a lot of different “stations” for the baby to be at. At my office I had a bumbo seat for my desk, a walker, bouncer, play mat and swing. I also allowed about 20 minutes Baby Einstein if I needed a quick distraction. Babies are easy to entertain, they will be happy just watching their parent work away, watch your face, listen to your voice while you’re on the phone. I had multiple objects for them to handle for sensory stimulation.
One thing I can say is that I don’t ever remembering either baby really screaming/crying. Both were happy to be hanging with their mom all day. Also, baby wearing is great when they’re super small. I replaced my desk chair with a big exercise ball and would wear them, bounce and type at the same time. Comicable now when I envision it!
Post # 23
I work from home and wish that was an option for me. During maternity leave I tried working on a project on my computer for a few hours while taking care of my daughter but I didn’t get much done. I would love to spend more time with her while saving $1,100 a month in daycare costs but I think both she and my work would suffer.
I agree with others that your friend will figure out if it’s really feasible on her own.
Post # 24
bubblyx : nickels : I actually agree it can be doable for the first ~9mo or so. I have friends who have also been allowed to bring baby to their office and make it work. But after 1 that’s a big NOPE to me- not possible without help (I have some that work from home but have a parent or helper there to actually take care of the kids). Toddlers and preschoolers need (demand, rather) fulltime attention during the day, unless you plan on plopping them in front of the TV while you work or you have some unicorn child. So for all we know, this might be a short term plan for them. My husband worked from home and did watch our child part time until she was 18mo but we also had a nanny that came part time (whenever he asked her) so that’s really the only way he could do it. Eventually he just couldn’t watch her at all (his workload grew) so she went to fulltime daycare. Plus toddlers and preschoolers do need interaction with peers, which is impossible to do if you’re required to be working during the day.
Post # 25
There is a reason that you don’t see babies next to the Target cashier, receptionist at the dentist, in classrooms or offices or any other places where people work. Either the job or baby will be neglected. I work from home. We will be putting our baby in daycare when he is 4 months old. Some people act like I’m an asshole for doing day care while working from home. Yet if I worked in an office, they’d think it was totally normal.
Post # 26
I think it can be doable for the first couple of months, but after that, not a chance if you want to be productive and actually get work done. Again though it all depends on your particular job. If you are someone who has to be on conference calls or accountable for your hours – probably not.
I’m self employeed and work from home. Because I am my own boss I make my hours so technically yeah I could keep my future baby at home and work. It’s not ideal, and it’s certainly not my plan. As a photographer, 20% of what we do is shooting and 80% is office work. Plenty of mom photographers have their kids home all day….answer emails here and there, maybe do a little work at nap time, but then do the bulk of their work after their kids go to bed. That’s not how I want to run my business – and I don’t want to be up until the wee hours of the night editing because I had my kids home all day.
Completely similar situation, but when my BFF got a call the day before she was to be on a work trip for 2 weeks for a new foster baby, she was scrambling to figure out something. Normally with their previous kids they had a nanny, but that wasn’t an option on such short notice. Her husband would be at home at night, but works 7am-4pm. Every morning at 6:30 he would drop baby off at my house, and picked up by 4:30 or 5. At two weeks she slept a good majority of the time and it was completely not a big deal (I even took her to a meeting). I kept her here and there in a pinch when the nanny was sick and once she was older and awake a lot more there wasn’t getting any work done.
Post # 27
amanda1988 : I’m a FTM and work full time and our daughter knows some sign language. Her daycare uses it as well. She frequently uses more, please, all done, eat, milk. It’s not a lot but it was very very helpful before she could use any words instead of just having a baby screaming at you. Literally every kid in her class knows these signs, so I wouldn’t say it’s difficult to teach.
Post # 28
Westwood : once more.. wasn’t commenting on whether it’s difficult or not. just that it’s one of the many plans I’ve heard my friends make for their unborn babies which was abandoned. I should’ve left it out i suppose, but it’s the one I’ve seen planned for and then abandoned with the most frequency. the plan to use maternity leave to learn tennis, another example i used, I only saw happen once.
my main point was to shut up and say nothing. parents will figure out for themselves what they can and can’t do.
Post # 29
- Wedding: October 2017 - Preservation Park, Oakland CA
As someone who works from home, I can say this is absolutely not a good idea. I dont have kids and dont plan to, but I know for a fact if I did I would never assume I’d be able to work and deal with a kid at the same time. I am constantly busy and attached to my desk while I am working, regardless of being at home. I barely even have time during the day to get my dog out for a couple around-the-block walks, much less take care of a baby that needs near-constant attention.
Post # 30
It depends how flexible your job is. If you can make your own hours, it might, but not if you are required to be on a conference calls at certain times or have strict/ short deadlines.
I am planning on doing something similar, however I’m well aware that the bulk majority or maybe even all of my work will happen in the evenings after my husband gets home from work. I teach on the weekends, so I need to make lesson plans, and I also freelance, my deadlines are always long and somewhat flexible- making my schedule 100% malleable. Even if I don’t ever work until my husband gets home, I could probably manage (I would just probably have to have great concentration, or a late night). For us it is the best of both worlds- I get to be a stay at home mom and still bring in an income.
If I was in a position where I had to work while my husband was gone, rather than it just being nice if I could get an hour or 2 of work in during the day, I think I would definitely need an in home nanny.