(Closed) working full time, kids etc

posted 8 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
11325 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2011

@gr8tlexi: i think this kind of thing is really a “family” decision. have you talked about the responsibilities of having a child? As in– who is going to be responsible for watching them when they’re not in school? daycare costs? if one of you will be the “primary” caregiver or if you’ll really share the duties equally? 

My Fiance feels somewhat the same way yours does. He doesn’t really believe in the “stay at home mom” concept because he thinks that you get a lot of your identity from working and interacting outside the home, and he also thinks that considering our job situation it wouldn’t make financial sense for us to only have 1 person working (i.e. we make much more than we’d pay in daycare… which is not always the case). 

I feel like you do in that I’d like to work part time because honestly I don’t love working that much. I feel like I’d be less stressed if I wasn’t trying to do both. BUT– when the time comes I know that I don’t get to make that decision, WE make it. If he really feels strongly about me not dropping my hours, I will probably agree… but I will make very sure that he understands we share parenting duties EQUALLY. I think the moms usually end up as the “primary” caregiver and that is just not fare if you’re working full time too. 

I dunno if that helps? But thats our situation.

Post # 4
304 posts
Helper bee

@CorgiTales: my plan is to save A LOT of money before i have a baby so i have a nice cushion for myself while i’m not working. then it won’t be an issue because i won’t be coming to him for money all the time

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