- 11 months ago
This has been on my mind for the past couple of months, and I’m really curious to see if any women on here can relate and share some advice. Or maybe I just need a kick in the pants!
You know when you were younger and single, how it was super easy to get close to new girlfriends and bond and have enough TIME to build those relationships and adventures? I’m curious as to how you ladies have successfully continued this in your late 20’s and beyond, when in serious relationships or after getting married.
In a nutshell, I’m in my late 20’s, I’m career driven and sometimes work long hours, and I’m in a serious relationship. Over the past couple of years, I realize that I want to make more girlfriends and I don’t want to just be sucked into my relationship and job. But here’s the thing- how do you find TIME to build relationships with new women? But I’m talking beyond what realistically just ends up being a dinner date once every few weeks.
It might sound silly, but let me put it this way. Let’s say there are 3 new potential friends I’m trying to get close to. Between finding time for each of them, my existing friends and family, myself, and my boyfriend, is it realistic to think I could actually become “best friends” with someone new at this point?
I find myself scheduling dinners and happy hours because that’s easy, but sometimes those are only surface level, you know? Then by the time the weekend rolls around, I’m exhausted from work and either just want to be by myself or stay with my boyfriend at his place. I think I’m in denial and don’t want to believe that in my late 20’s, I’m not going to make girlfriends beyond surface level, because I’m not going to have those Saturday nights going out and then staying up late chatting at one of your apartments til 4 am (when the real bonding happens, in my opinion).
I feel like I need to be honest with myself and admit, “You had a long week, and no, you don’t want to hang out with ‘xyz new friend,’ you just want to get in your comfy pants and catch up with your boyfriend, and that’s okay.” AH, I don’t want to be that way! But I just feel like there aren’t enough days in the week.
I know, not the most important problem in the world, but I’m actually really curious how you ladies navigate your social lives.
Thank you. 🙂