Post # 1
I’ll be joining the ranks of the working mamas when we welcome our first child and am curious as to others’ experiences. I plan to utilize a daycare center 0.2 miles from my office and work a flexible schedule (which drops me to 32 hours a week rather than 40). Darling Husband will work from home one day a week, meaning LO will be in daycare three days a week. We’ve talked with my mom about helping out for the first several weeks after I return to work after maternity leave so that LO won’t be in daycare at 6 weeks old, but maybe closer to 3 months.
Darling Husband and I are ttc and I’m over thinking everything right now! I like our plan, I think it’ll allow LO to have the best of everything. Financial security, socialization (obviously not as important at 3 months old as 3 years old), extra mommy time, extra daddy time, extra grandma time, etc., but I still wonder if me working is a good idea. We could put off ttc for a few years and possibly be able to have me stay home for a few years, but we both prefer the security that having two incomes holds, and I don’t think I’d be a good stay-at-home mom.
How do you sort through all the options and know that you’re making the right decisions? It seems so overwhelming!
Post # 3
I have been a sahm for years and just went back to work part time (3 days a week) last week BUT my kids are older (12, 5, 3.5 years old). When my son was an only child I stayed home with him on and off as well (mostly staying home). Then worked pt as a newspaper jpunralist when he went to kindergarten. When we decided to TTC for our 2nd, we decided I would just stay home full time (at this time, we moved into our newly built home to a new place). I did work for 8 months last year from home but for the last 6 plus years I have been a fulltime sahm and loved it.
You have to do what’s right for you. I personally felt being home was what was best for us. And I still like being home with my kids but I was ready to go work as well (mainly to just pay for wedding expenses). It does feel good to get out the house those 3 days and I am lucky that I live right next door to my future inlaws and they take care of my the little ones when I go to work. They spend so much time at my fil’s house anyway, even when I am home so that is not much of a change for them LOL.
Post # 4
That’s awesome! 🙂 I wish our parents were closer. Growing up, my best friend’s grandma lived next door to her and we had a blast hanging out with her, “helping” her garden, “helping” her cook… lol, I wouldn’t trade those memories for anything, and she wasn’t even my grandma!
Post # 5
Your schedule sounds good. Very good if everything works as planned! Best of both worlds! I work and I hate it, but I work with 22 four year old for 8hrs. If I had a flexible schedule, it’d be great. My dream would be work at home mom. Staying home and spending time with her, as well as getting out and getting paid!LOL
As far as socialization, they especially start to crave it at 5 or 6 months. I didn’t knwo this until I was home for the summer with her. She misses her friends at her school.LOL I try to do playdates, but not many of my kids are around with their kids or they don’t have kids.
Post # 6
Wow, I didn’t realize they made friends at 5-6 months! I’m hoping that presenting daycare as “school” and it just being the norm, from the beginning, will help everyone have an easier time with the separation.
Post # 7
Your plan sounds well thought out! From experience, you won’t know what the right decision is until you try your first plan. It will feel right or it won’t and you will teak it.
Post # 8
@apex: I am a sahm and I wouldn’t trade it for aything in the world. The relationship I have with my girls is one of the best parts of life. I am really happy that I am able to be there for all these moment because this is time I can never get back. Our memories are of being together. I am really happy I waited until we could afford for me to stay home.
Post # 9
They do! I didn’t think so but my baby loves when other babies/kids are around. I think they all are like that…unless she’s just super friendly. 🙂
Post # 10
Due to financial reasons, I started working when my daughter was 3 months old. She’s now eleven and a half. As we got more financially secure, I decided to continue working. Just spend the time you have with your kid, and remember, whether your a Stay-At-Home Mom or a working mom, no one’s perfect. Just try to spend time with your child (or children), have fun together. Designate a period of about two to three hours every weekend, and try to spend time with your child(ren) then. I don’t have any regrets.
Post # 11
@apex: Please be very careful about committing your husband to full-time childcare while he is working from home. Not only do most of my parent friends say that they cannot really do anything else while caring for their children, almost all companies have strict rules about providing childcare while working.
Post # 12
I have a pretty similar set up to you except I was the one working from home once a week. I think it has worked out great. Of course it is hard to go back to work, but after a month or so you get into the routine. I don’t keep my son home with me anymore on my work from home days; once he was mobile I was both a bad mother and a bad employee and it was just too stressful. I use those days to work and get some laundry done so when we are together we can focus on family time. I pick him up a few hours early and we head to the zoo or museum.
The to work or not to work question is always hard. There are pros and cons to each side. I have a carrier that I enjoy and a workplace that is flexible and family friendly so it makes the whole thing easier. My SIL has been a Stay-At-Home Mom for eight years now and has very much enjoyed the time at home with her kids, but is now struggling to get back into the workforce. Her skills are out of date, when she left the workforce her salary was much higher than entry level so she has priced herself out of those positions and they have had to put off things like saving as much as they should for retirement. Just something to consider. Our plan is to have me home half time when our child reaches middle school. We feel that those are the times that a kid could really use some guidance in life decisions.
My only advice is to call the center you want to get into now and ask about waiting lists. Depending on where you live they can be years long! Having your child near your work is great too, I used to go nurse on my lunch break and it made the transition much easier. We have a daycare I adore, the women there shower him with affection and he enjoys playing with his friends.
I guess my other advice would be to not get caught up into the mommy wars about the subject. You really can’t win, you stay home and people think you’re lazy or uneducated, you go to work and they say someone else is raising your child. Like I said, there are pros to cons to both decisions and neither one is easy.
Post # 13
Well I have been a working mom since the age of 18 I am 31 now and have no idea what its like to be a Stay-At-Home Mom. I have 3 girls and all three have been in daycare since 6 weeks. Frustrating yes but sometimes that is what life brings you. I am on my 2nd marriage now and my girls are 13,7 and 5. All in school and the two youngest do after school care until 6 pm. Even though my tubes are tied we plan on doing a reversal tubal litigation cause my Darling Husband has no kids but this time I would love to be a Stay-At-Home Mom.